Married At First Sight: Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner “Trying For Our Rainbow Baby”

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Doug is so loving and forgiving.
Doug is so loving.




My husband, Doug, and my 2016 has been as stable as a hurricane. It’s been one of the most difficult years of my life. 2016 is the year I turned 30. I’m not gonna lie, going into 30 I thought I had the whole world ahead of me. I had accomplished a lot in my twenties, but it seems the moment I turned 30 my whole world fell apart. My one and only goal in my 30’s is to try for our rainbow baby.

Top 10 things I accomplished in my 20’s:

  • I gained custody of my younger siblings when I was 20 years old and raised them throughout my early twenties.
  • I graduated nursing school with honors and became a Registered Nurse.
  • After a couple of dead-beat boyfriends and some pretty embarrassing stints on The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad I moved to New York City.
  • I began working in labor and delivery at the #1 hospital in New York: Columbia Presbyterian.
  • I met and married the man of my dreams on Married At First Sight. We got married and fell in love on national television — that sounds pretty fairy-tale like, but it was really the most abnormal fairytale you’ve ever heard of.
  • I designed my first piece of jewelry and created Jamie Otis Jewelry – jewelry inspired by spooning.
  • I launched my website and blogs. Woot woot!
  • After numerous tv hosting gigs I finally landed my own show: Married At First Sight: Unfiltered.
  • Probably one of my favorite accomplishments is becoming an author.

Ok, that’s only 9 things but I’m proud of it all. So yeah, I think my twenties were pretty awesome. I’ve always wanted to write a book – sharing my story about how I overcame so many obstacles growing up – domestic violence, neglectful parents, sexual abuse, etc. My first book, Wifey 101: Everything I Got Wrong After Finding Mr. Right, launched right about the same time I found out I was pregnant – last summer right before I turned 30.  Learning I was pregnant was by far my most favorite part of my twenties – I dreamed of becoming a mommy since I was a little girl. As a kid, I’d pretend to be a mommy to my baby-dolls — feeding them, changing them, burping them, and loving on them. My biggest dream in life is to be a great mommy to a bunch of cute kiddos. (We want 6; three or four of our own and adopt a couple, too.)

I can’t even begin to describe the excitement Doug and I had when we found out I was pregnant. Oh my goodness, there are just no words to describe the joy. It was like waking up to Christmas morning every single day! I was pregnant with a baby boy (who we named Johnathan). Johnathan was due December 20th.

My whole world fell apart when I turned 30

As a teenager you always imagine your world falling apart when you turn 30. At least I did. I was always like “Oh gaaawd, thirty is so old. I hope I neeeever turn 30!” Funny to think about that now because as I was turning thirty I couldn’t have welcomed it more! I remember my twenties as a decade of struggling with half-a$$ relationships, raising teenagers, hard work in college and then searching for the right job(s), trying to find myself, and a lot of embarrassing times on reality tv. 😛 (This is all documented in my book, Wifey 101.)

Going into 3o felt like leaving a decade of stress and worry and entering a new world of stability and happiness. A world where my career(s) are thriving, I have a happy and loving marriage, and I was finally going to become a MOMMY. Everything was perfect! We even had an offer in on our very first home; our dream home with the white picket fence to boot. Life was looking ah-mazing.

Doug Hehner holding Jamie Otis copy

Scratch That

Within weeks of turning 30 I found out that I was losing my baby. I cannot even begin to tell you the heart-wrenching pain that stabs at your heart and burns into your soul when you hear this news. I imagine anyone who has suffered from a loss knows this awful pain. It doesn’t go away even months after going through this horrendous experience. I ended up delivering my baby boy at four months, one day pregnant – too early for him to have a fighting chance at surviving. His little body was so delicate and tender, yet perfectly formed. His sweet little hands and feet weren’t stretching from being in the womb for so long, they just lay there limp. As I stared at his button-nose and teeny tiny mouth I looked up to my husband and said “Our sweet baby. He’s so beautiful.”

Throughout my pregnancy I worried about silly things like my baby having all ten fingers and toes. The day I delivered Johnathan I saw all ten fingers and toes, but I only got to see them for a very short time before he was taken from me. I can’t get over the sadness that comes when I think about the fact that he never had a chance to grow, laugh, be snuggled, and feel the love of his mommy and daddy kissing him and holding him close. There are no words for the agony. Just no words at all.

I grew to love this little boy more than life in the short 17 weeks he was growing inside me. Its so sad to think that as I sit here at the kitchen table writing this blog that my boy should be bouncing off my rib cage and giving me little jolts inside as he plays around inside me. I would be 8 months pregnant right now.

But he is no longer safely curled up inside me. I no longer get to see his sweet ultrasound photos every month. I don’t hear his heart beating and I never get to see his little feet kicking inside me, ever again. Sometimes when I think about all that I thought I had and all that I’ve lost I just can’t wrap my brain around it. Why did God give us this sweet boy only to take him away so suddenly?

Thank You

I’ve gotta tell you, I probably couldn’t have gotten through this without all of the outpouring of love and support I’ve received from you all. Blogging about this has been beyond therapeutic for me. All of your emails, messages, comments…it makes me feel like Johnathan is loved by so many and he isn’t just simply gone and forgotten. October was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. I shared Johnny’s picture with you. Thank you all for accepting him and loving him. It means the world to me. I think we are breaking the stigma associated with miscarriage and infant loss.




Where We Are Now

A lot of people have been asking me what’s going on in our lives now. Well, the first of this month we moved in with my (amazing) in-laws. Not that it really matters in comparison, but we ended up losing the house we put an offer in on and the second home that we fell in love with we had to pull out our offer. We found out that we had boatloads of debt. (My hubby’s student loans went into judgement and it never showed up on his credit report until we were in the final process of buying a home – which we obvs pulled out so fast being that it ate up our entire deposit and then some!)

I am not going to lie, I was very scared to move in with my in-laws. I haven’t lived with any parental figure since I was like 16 years old – seriously. As a matter of fact, the only parental figure was ME to my sisters when I had custody of them. I’ve never had any roommates that weren’t my younger sisters. (Which, by the way, I assigned chores to them and made dinner for ’em.)

It’s a completely bizarre, strange situation for me to have “parents” to live with. Bonnie cleans and loves doing laundry and Doug’s Dad, Doug, cooks dinner every night. They go grocery shopping and ask us if there’s anything in particular we want. I remember being the one to do all of that for my sisters. Now someone is doing it for me?! So awkward, but yet so nice. 🙂 They are the picture perfect “all-American family.” I don’t think my hubby even knows the half of HOW LUCKY he is to have parents like his.

One of my biggest fears moving in with Doug’s parents was that I wouldn’t feel welcomed or “at home” there. I know that sounds ludicrous because anyone who has ever met or watched The Hehner’s on Married At First Sight know that they are the most loving and welcoming family. But, I think it’d be understandable if they were annoyed to have their 34 year old son and his wife moving in with them. They went from having the whole house to themselves to having all 3 of their spare rooms filled with our junk. (My jewelry business is located in Doug’s sister’s old bedroom.)

To say that I feel loved, welcomed, and happy isn’t even enough to begin it. It’s a awkward situation that is going strangely ok. Knock on wood. 🙂

Doug and I Are Trying For Another Baby

I know many people may think we are absolutely crazy (Have you heard of how we chose to get married?!) for trying to have a baby when we are in the worst financial/home-life situation we’ve ever been in. Heck, me in my twenties would have thought I was absolutely NUTSO to try to have a baby while living in my husband’s childhood bedroom – across the hall from his parents – but I don’t care. 30 hasn’t been very kind to me so far, but there are a couple things that 30 has done for me – it’s humbled me and changed me. I once wanted the PERFECT everything. And I would plan it out so it all went accordingly. I no longer care if I have the perfect nursery in the perfect house with the perfect little SUV with the cutest carseat in the back. All I want in life is love, happiness and my own sweet family – and our angel baby Johnny to be remembered.

Although Doug and I have been through a storm this past year, I have never felt more in love and more happy with my hubby. There has never been a better time for us to try to begin having our rainbow baby. (Honestly, we have secretly been trying for a few months. I almost thought we should stop until we were all settled in life, but when is anyone all settled and “ready?!”) So, please pray to God that we are blessed with a healthy, happy pregnancy SOON! We cannot wait to have our rainbow baby!

Do you have any advice for us in our situation? Do you have any tips/tricks on getting pregnant?! I’m all ears! 🙂

I’d love to send you my weekly updates and stay in touch with you! Sign up to be the first to hear when we have any GREAT news to share – aka we are pregnant! Fingers crossed we get to share this SOON! Follow this link (click here) to subscribe! Thank you for all of your love and support  – we are so blessed!





What does it take to be a good wife? God knows I had some trouble figuring that out. My past threatened my future, but I learned how to stop that from happening. If you’re struggling in the dating world — or if you’re engaged, a newlywed, a long time married veteran, you will feel a lot better about your relationship after reading about mine in my new book, Wifey 101: Everything I Got Wrong After Meeting  Mr. Right!

It’s on sale for less than $10 bucks on Amazon, B&N, and everywhere books are sold.  Grab your copy NOW! *Online only. (If you’d like to read chapter one for FREE just click here.) 

***Now Offering Autographed Copies. Click Here To Get Yours!***

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97 comments
  1. Hi Jamie,
    I don’t think it’s that strange to try for a baby, live with your in laws, and not be loaded! You have the number one ingredient, a great husband! I had my son 27 years ago. I was a single parent living with my parents. Today he still lives with me and my mom and I have the best husband in the world. I have no money worries,a big house all paid for, and a good job! I’m so glad I had my son when I did. If I had waited till all was dandy, I would have been childless! Jamie just do your thing. People use to feel sorry for me, now they wish they had my life. Things have a way of working themselves out. You work hard and can set your own pattern for your life. Good luck!

  2. I moved in with my in laws when I was about 30 for 1 year and they were amazing. I can’t stand living with my own family, but with my in-laws it was like a dream. I felt l.ike I was in little house on the prairie or something. I loved the ‘family’ time, and that came every day. It really taught me how to be a better wife, communicator and brought us really close together. I think that has helped us ever since. We no longer live in the same house, but I feel confident about my mother in law taking care of our son (who is two). As for pregnancy. I tried for 5 years and nothing. Then my husband and I fasted and prayed to God for a baby and then two years later we got pregnant. The only things I did differently was sleep in absolute darkness when the sun went down (literally so dark you couldn’t see you hand), which is supposed to affect your circandian hormones, which helps with pregnancy (i forget what its called, something like lunar cycling), and also I did some intermittent fasting (which is again meant to balance hormones. Keeping your progesterone up and estrogen low is meant to be the key to sustaining pregnancy. Reducing estrogen exposures (including xenoestrogens from plastic water bottles, packaging on ready meals etc and tap water) is supposed to help..

  3. I just love you two. Your one of my favorite couple’s in the world. I know we have never met but you have been in my living room many times. I can’t wait to read your book. Do you have this in large print?

    1. Aww, thanks Robin! We love you, too! I don’t have it in large print. Sorry about that! I can’t wait for you to read it though. Please let me know what you think! 🙂

  4. Hi Jamie I came across your story just by chance but your story resonates with me so I just had to comment. I had my rainbow baby Jack in March of this year. When we lost our angel baby we were going through a very stressful time and I’m sure like you it was the worst time of my life. We were in the process of moving into a house that required alot of work and I had just found out I was also being made redundant from a job of 9years that I loved. The timing couldn’t have been worse. But we decided we didn’t want to put our life on hold and wanted to try again. 6 weeks after my loss we fell pregnant again. It was a very tough pregnancy and I went through some very low times but the moment Jack was born I just knew he was the baby we always deserved. I will be turning 30 in January and although these last 2 years have been the most stressful of my life, I’m hoping 2017 will be better. Have faith Jamie and I always feel things happen when they’re meant to happen. Your rainbow baby will arrive just when you need them to. Good luck to you both

    1. Dannii, thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story with me. I feel like we really do have very similar stories (I’m just waiting on the rainbow baby part). Hearing these stories of other women getting their rainbow baby after loss gives me hope that we will, too. Thanks so much for sharing. I really appreciate it! xoxo

  5. My wife and I had my sperm power washed and then inserted…TMI I know but we had twin boys who are 29 now! God bless you two have a wonderful baby

  6. Dear Jaime, it would be best not to speak of conceiving and getting pregnant so openly. Concealment is a very important step in this process of conceiving and growing a baby. Just as an apple seed needs to be buried (and therefore hidden) under ground in order to grow and eventually bear fruit, so too does the process of conceiving. If the apple seed is exposed and left on the table, it will never manifest. You can speak of such matters after at least 3 months, this is the amount of time you need to keep things concealed and allow the baby to grow in peace before sharing the news to everyone. You want as much protection for your baby as much as possible, protection from jealous and envious stares which steal so much energy. I know you mean to inspire people at the same time and that is commendable and amazing, but not at the expense of your chances of getting pregnant. Good luck and I am praying for you and your husband. You are both lovely.

    1. Hi Andrea! I know you mean well by this and it does make sense, but I’ve found that for me being out in the open with it all is so much more helpful for me. The amount of tips and tricks I get and also just knowing that I am not alone through the struggle has been so nice. I will think about this though. Thanks! I hope you’re well!!! xoxox

  7. I’ve lost two babies this year, the first miscarriage was on my birthday in March and the second was on my husbands birthday in August (seriously!) We have also grown so much closer together through the heartache, and are currently preparing ourselves for IVF to start in January. I see so much of us in you/you in us – our relationship has also been rather unconventional! I have every faith that God has his hand over your hearts and will gift you in ways you cannot even begin to imagine. My best advice to you and Doug is to be gentle and kind to one another and to yourselves. Speak with love and understanding and lean on, confide in and spoil each othr on this journey. Don’t get so caught up in making a baby that you forget to make your marriage work for you too. Wishing you all the very best things in life – blessings from Gaelyn (in South Africa!)

    1. Hi Gaelyn! Wow, I am so sorry to hear of both of your losses (on your birthdays nonetheless)! Good luck with IVF ( I actually have an interview for a nursing job at an IVF clinic in NYC this week. ) I pray you find success and get your rainbow baby soon! Sending you lots of love all the way to South Africa! xoxo

  8. Hi Jamie! Reading this is exactly what I needed this morning. It is so encouraging to see you and Doug push through all the pain and trouble that you guys have had this year and come out on the other side even stronger. My husband and I are trying to save money to buy a house and we don’t want to have a baby until we do. I get so frustrated at times b/c I want it NOW!! Reading your blog this morning made me realize that there is a time and place for everything to happen and that I need to be patient. You have overcome so much and you’re such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your story with your fans, I pray that God will bless you with your rainbow baby soon! Much love and support from South Carolina!

  9. Wow – this post touched me in more days than one. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 29. And she was born on DEC 20! (your sweet Johnny’s due date) that was 9 years ago. Also, we live with my in-laws. They sound a lot like your’s. We have lived here for 6 years this month, and it was the smartest financial decision we have ever made!! The plan was to try it out for 5 years, and even though somethings are difficult, we have no intention of leaving anytime soon. Good luck to both of you & I am praying for your rainbow baby soon!!!

  10. So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I cant even imagine your heartbreak. You and your husband are so strong. I hope you are blessed with another baby soon.

  11. It sounds to me that you are now receiving what you certainly should have received as a young child….the unconditional love and nurturing of a mother and father. I know you are treasuring every second. Will continue to pray for you all and pray that God will have his hand on you.

  12. Hey girl! Your story is so inspiring to read. I’ve followed you and your husband since you guys first met in MAFS. I was so sad to read that you guys lost your precious son. I prayed for you that god would take away your pain. But find comfort to know that you precious angel is waiting for you and is safe with god. My husband and I were trying to conceive for six months before we found out we were pregnant. . We ordered this box on amazon the ovulation tests strips and it comes with pregnancy tests. I’m pretty irregular and alway have been but these really helped! I was so shocked it worked and help figure out when I was ovulating and bam! I was pregnant next month! My advice though don’t stress about it too much. It puts a lot of pressure on your mind and body and it will throw your body out of whack. Try the amazon ovulation strips and keep track. Good luck! Thinking of you and your husband.

  13. Thank you for sharing about your sweet angel. I would also like to thank you for reminding us that lowering one’s expectations is okay. I was actually having a hard time getting pregnant with baby #2 and it turned out my vitamin d levels were low. I started taking caltrate 600 D3 2x a day and it worked. The best of luck to you.

  14. In sharing you inspire a lot of people Jamie. I lost 3 pregnancies right after i got married and i had a long 4year wait be i conceived again. Just when I thought all hope was lost, God showed up. He will do same for you. You guys will definitely be in my prayers. Lots of love from Nigeriaa

    1. Hi Jane! Thank YOU so much for sharing your story with me. I really appreciate it! Happy for you that you have your rainbow baby! Sending lots of love to you – all the way to Nigeria! xoxo

  15. Dearest Jamie,

    I watched you and Doug say your “I Do’s” on the very first season of Married At First Sight and had always wondered how the two of you are doing.

    I’m so happy that I stumbled across your blog so that I’m able to keep up with your family (I don’t really watch cable tv too much anymore).

    I’m very sorry to hear about your heartbreaking loss and I’m praying you are blessed with your rainbow baby. Never having gone through this myself I can only imagine the pain you are going through. I commend you on turning your difficult year into something beautiful. It takes a strong person to endure hardship and still be grateful in the process. I look forward to reading more of your blog. God bless you and Doug!

  16. Hi Jamie!
    Many prayers sent your way! Best of luck on your journey and wishes for a happy, healthy baby. Have you ever considered essential oils? I started using them in August and it is amazing how much has changed with how I feel. There is a blend called Progessence Plus that has helped many in my group conceive their oily babies. I would love to chat more If you were interested, but I’m sure you don’t have the time lol
    Best Wishes!

  17. I had a missed miscarriage in March and immediately started trying again. I used ovulation prediction kits and basal temperatures to find out when I would be ovulated, and 3 months to the day I miscarried, I got pregnant again. I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with a boy, due on March 24th.

    I qould recommend doing the tests and temps to know when you will ovulate and time your tests to that. Good luck!

  18. Hey Jamie, thank you for sharing your story I’m not a mom yet , still on the search for my MR. I fell inlove w you and your husband since day one of married at first sight I’m so happy that you guys made it and your love story. Loosing a love one is painful and the pain never goes away. We question why god take away what he gives us but there’s a reason for it we might not understand it but all we can do is Pray your baby boy is your angel and I will have you in my prayers and hope and wish that God can bless you with a healthy baby. Love you guys

  19. I think that is so sweet that you now feel comfortable living with the Hehners. You really did luck out in the in-law department. I bet they love having you. It’s about time you let a parent spoil you Jaime. It’s long overdue. You and Doug and Jonathan are in my prayers. Hope you are pregnant by the years end.

  20. Hey Jamie 🙂
    I did write a long post before but I don’t see it posted. So I figured I will write something similar to it. I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. I will tell you that I’ve been pregnant twice. The first time was a molar pregnancy.. where your body thinks you are pregnant but you really aren’t… it took my husband and I about 7 months before we got pregnant with our now son. I will tell to use preseed! We got pregnant both times instantly with the preseed. I think it took us longer to get pregnant with our son because one he joined the Navy and was gone for awhile and I was also on birth control and I got pregnant 3 months after I stopped birth control with preseed. Good luck and baby dust! 🙂

  21. Nunca le digas a tu esposo que no quieres hacer el amor, se tu la primera en hacerlo y pedírselo. Tienes que derrotarlo sexualmente después de alcanzar por igual y al mismo tiempo el orgasmo. No debes de olvidar que los hombres somos más débiles en el sexo que vosotras las mujeres.
    Muy importante: olvídate de pensar en quedarte embarazada, piensa sólo en hacer el amor con tu esposo por que le quieres, le amas, estás enamorada de él, y; sobre todo, te gusta muchísimo hacerlo con él disfrutando de su cuerpo con locura.
    Si te escondes algo o mientes en lo que sea, no eres digna de ser amada.

  22. Never tell your husband that you do not want to make love, you are the first to do it and ask for it. You have to defeat him sexually after achieving equally and at the same time the orgasm. You must not forget that men are weaker in sex than you women.
    Very important: forget about thinking about getting pregnant, think only about making love with your husband because you love him, you love him, you are in love with him, and; Above all, you really enjoy doing it with him, enjoying your body with madness.
    If you hide something or lie in anything, you are not worthy to be loved.

  23. Dear Jamie,
    I am grateful to read your blogging. Please know that I am so happy that you are with the Hehners. Feeling safe, comfortable and loved is important for your rainbow baby.
    Also please be certain to use the Ovulation Detectors so you won’t get all overworked with the planning. Also once you are just right with ovulation, it is most beneficial if you both work together at mutual orgasm. As a nurse I’m sure you know the amazing physical reactions to climax. When the uterus contracts that vacuum suction will naturally get the sperm to your eggs!
    Keep Doug working on your pleasure and multiples after his. I even did a headstand to be sure I was doing all I could to get that fertilizer to my eggs!! LOL!! But true.
    And my Rainbow Baby boy was born 28 long months after I lost my honeymoon
    baby. I carried my first beloved child for over 20 weeks and the loss was traumatic. My Dr. never told me why our baby stopped growing. He never even shared the gender.
    But I did finish sewing my baby’s lavender and sage quilt. And I swaddled my Rainbow Baby boy, Patrick Drew, in his angel sibling ‘ s blanket of love.
    We never conceived again.
    And I never stopped trying either!
    Our God is an awesome God, he reigns.
    He knows his divine plan will be just right for you, Jamie Nicole. And you are right where you are supposed to be.
    Safe, comfortable and loved.
    With everything you need to conceive your rainbow baby.
    I love you for you.
    Enjoy being taken care of while you exercise self-care. Soon you will be eating for 2 and your father can increase the portions he’s happily cooking.
    I love Doug for loving you so much.
    Happy holidays honey.

  24. Prayers for you and Doug…hopefully we will be reading about your rainbow baby any day!!! You guys so deserve the best!!!

  25. I’ll be saying prayers for you, Doug, your
    Johnny and your raindbow baby! I took mucinex when trying (to make cervical mucus looser for sperm to move through) I’ve also heard great things about pre-seed. All things you can get at the drug store 🙂 best of luck!

  26. Hi Jamie, I just wanted to say that my prayers are with you, I have a 4 year old rainbow baby, I lost my daughter Brianna when I was 6 months and 4 days pregnant! Worst thing I have ever gone through!!! Your rainbow baby will happen!!! Stay positive and you and Doug will have that dream
    Come true!

  27. Love this blog. We had to move in with my in laws and I thought I would die but it was actually so nice to have someone take care of me for a while. Good luck! Praying.

  28. You’re a beautiful person and have a husband who is there for you and supports you. On getting pregnant, forget about trying and just have fun ….I found that when you just have fun it will happen. Then you’ll be stress free..just fun.

  29. Hey sweet girl. I lost my baby, Landon at 28 weeks. We got pregnant on purpose with my rainbow baby, Drew two months later. “If you want until you are ready… You will be waiting forever.” Drew will never replace Landon but Oh my Savior Jesus knew he would heal my broken heart! Praying for you Mama, much love! Shelby

  30. Hi Jamie

    I never read or respond to blogs but I could not help myself with this one! My husband and I had a very similar year to you and Doug last year. We were living with my parents, got married, were trying to buy a home and then found out we were pregnant! We lost our baby a few months later and it was the most devastating day/week/month of our lives. I remember thinking that literally everything was falling apart. 20 months later here we are in our first home in Howell, with our amazing 10 week old son. I will not repeat all the cliche things that people say to a mom after a loss (that always drove me crazy) but I promise you when you hold your rainbow baby (and you will) your heart will explode! Cry, laugh, and enjoy trying! And remember, you’re already a mom 🙂

  31. Jamie, thank you for sharing your story! I will be praying for you and Doug and your baby! I suggest downloading an ovulation app to enter all your info to keep track each month. I used Kindara and I really liked it. I wish you the best! You deserve every happiness!

  32. Jamie, Doug,
    Difficult times make us stronger. Although you may not understand right now why “Johnny” is gone, someday Our Lord will give you the answer. Maybe he was going to be very sick and Our Lord needed an angel to guide your future children, his siblings. As for trying for another baby just be patient and trust in the Lord. I have a grand baby in heaven, we never knew if it was a boy or a girl, however Mimi as my other 5 grandchildren call me had a broken heart and I always remember my angel”Noel Skye”. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Your prayers will be heard. Love you!

  33. Jamie,

    I’ve been following you and Doug since the beginning and was completely heartbroken for you two when you announced you had misccarried. My husband and I struggled for 8 years to conceive and it wasn’t until we turned to IVF that we finally got pregnant and had our daughter this summer. I was pregnant when you told the world and my heart broke for you. I just wanted to tell you I am 36 and never thought I’d ever get pregnant. You have youth on your side and I have no doubt whatsoever you will conceive a healthy baby who will make it full term. Never give up! It will happen. I’m living proof.

    Praying for you guys,
    Becky

  34. You two are in my prayers n thoughts. Hoping you get your rainbow baby soon. My husband and I went thru a similar situation and now I’m so happy to say our rainbow baby will be turning 1 in January. Wishing you the best.

  35. Hello Jamie 🙂
    I just wanted to let you know that I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. I didn’t go through what you went through, and I hope I never will.. last year on August 13th I found out I was expecting my husband and I’s first baby. A month later I went to the hospital after feeling not right for weeks, and having some spotting. I was sitting next to my husband holding his hands when the doctor told me I currently am pregnant but not with a baby. A molar pregnancy. A pregnancy that makes your body think you’re pregnant when you really aren’t. So my husband looked at my doctor, and asked him if I was going to die. The doctor told us that since we caught it early on I will hopefully be okay. But I will need surgery to remove the tumor that could lead into cancer. The doctor said he was going to go in, and look how bad it is, and if it’s to bad they would remove my uterus.. this all happened 2 weeks before my husband was supposed to leave for Navy basic training. We were both scared.. but I was in the hostipal for four whole days waiting for my surgery and my husband never left my side. He even ate hostipal food (which he later said was the most disgusting thing he ever tasted) I went into surgery the day he swore into the Navy. My doctor told us they caught it early, and everything was fine. Before I got my surgery my hcg levels were at 400,000. They told me if I waited any longer to come in I would not be able to have any children. So my husband left for boot camp, and my doctor put me on birth control for a whole year to regulate my periods again. I was only on it for 6 months becaus my husband and I decided that whatever happened would happen and we would figure it out together. We tried for 5 months before I got pregnant. I got pregnant five weeks before he left for deployment. I will say it hasn’t been easy, and sometimes I wondered if I could do this alone while he’s always gone but this deployment will be ending in 8 weeks and I will say I can NOT wait till he is home again. We are remaining strong for not only each other but our son too.
    Also when we got pregnant the first time we were living with his family, and I believe what happened was supposed to happen for a reason. Now we are in our own place, and have a stable life style. So don’t give up on your dream to be a mom because of your financial issues! It’ll all work for the best!

    P.S use preseed! You can find it at any store! It helped me get pregnant with our son! 🙂 good luck and best wishes!

    1. AHA! Here is the other message ( you mentioned in your other comment) ….sorry sometimes it takes me a couple days to get back to all the message but I SOOO LOVE reading them all and chatting with you all. THANK YOU so much for sharing your story with me. Gosh, you’ve been through A LOT! I am sorry you have had to go through so much but I am so HAPPY for you now!!! And I will definitely look into that pressed. A LOT of people seem to be recommending it. xoxo

  36. My husband and I tried for 4 months with no luck. Once I went and bought the ovulation tracker sticks from Walmart I was pregnant the first month we used it! Thank you for sharing all our feelings and this journey. I am sure you are touching so many women!

    1. I am so glad you say that Chelsie. I hope that by me being open and honest on my journey that it will encourage and inspire other women and help them know they aren’t alone. xoxo

  37. Praying for all of you. May God continue to bless you each and every day. How wonderful that you are able to experience the true love of family. You deserve all of the happiness in the World. So open of you to share with all of us. I loved watching the show and love keeping up with you on your journey. Hugs hugs hugs gorgeous. Hope your furbaby is doing well too 🙂

  38. Hi Jamie! I’ve been following you guys since the show, and have just been in the background looking upon your life and praying. I just thought I’d take a moment to comment. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your story- the good, the heartbreaking and the joyful. We all have a story to tell, and not everyone is willing to be open about it. So, it’s beautiful what you are sharing!

    I want to point out that you and Doug ARE parents already. Just because baby Jonanthon is no longer on this earth, in your arms doesn’t take away from the fact that you and Doug are wonderful parents to him. The way that you have loved him from the beginning, to taking care of him when he was passing away to now- giving a name and face and voice to your child. You are beautiful parents already!

    I will be praying that you are able to bring another baby into this world! I pray that the Lords will be done! It sounds like you all have a wonderful support network of family that love you- and love Jonathon and any future babes. That’s half the battle right there!

    Have you heard of NaPro technology? Or FertilityCare.org? These doctors use your own mentrual cycle and fertility signs to get at the heart of what could be causing your sub fertility issues. It takes time and effort to learn this, but it’s empowering to know so much more about your body and figure out the best way to “fix” it. I hope all that makes sense! Please take some time to check it out!

    Again, prayers for you!

  39. Hello Jamie thank you for sharing I sent out my condolences on facebook, it took me great time to try to find proper words to say to the both of you, cause I to may be in my 30’s, I just have not Gott pregnant…yet I am a twin and we do share a close bond with our triplet Gabriel Anthony (he is not with us on earth but with our Heavenly Father he to was born to early) I am beyond happy you and Doug are trying again I don’t think y’all are crazy absolutely not. That is why he has always made a rainbow in the sky after it pours rain (in scripture it’s states that the rainbow is there as a sign and a promise that GOD will never destroy the earth again with water). As a child of GOD (forgive me I don’t mean to get too sacrilegious here) You and Doug have a desire to be parents and GOD honors his children’s hearts and desires he wants the absolute best for us. Within saying that both of you are in my constant prayers here in Texas. Come this tomorrow I will put a prayer request for The Hehner Family. And in due time that door will once again be open with surrounding angels coving baby, ‘mommy, daddy and the whole family.
    Tons of love ❤️

  40. Jamie and Doug, I’ve watched you from the beginning on MAFS and love your updates! I grew up in NJ, Colts Neck and Old Bridge area, and have family there. We now live in Delaware to be closer to family. We have 6 kiddos and when I read you were thinking of 6,i has to write. It’s an awesome, stressful, fun, learning adventure we are on. Definately very stressful times, last year i separated from my husband but through hard work and God’s plan we are back together stronger than ever. I know you get tons of advice so i will spare that. I just wanted to say, you are not alone and lean on each other.

  41. Hi Jamie!
    Thank you so much for sharing and really breaking the silence on the heartbreak and devastation that accompanies pregnancy and infant loss. I had a miscarriage on Oct. 3rd at 8 weeks and to articulate the pain emotionally and physically that came with losing my sweet baby was next to impossible. However, my husband and I have picked ourselves and have decided to try for our rainbow. Being the nerd that I am/last year of nursing school student I am, I chose to research and really seek out how to be my best self in mind, body, and spirit to prepare for another pregnancy. I read a really interesting book called It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett. I guess I would start there and really consider what she has to say. Again, I so appreciate your transparency and will be praying for you and your husband to get pregnant and have a happy and HEALTHY nine-months. <3

    1. Thank you for sharing these books with me. I love to read so I will definitely look into them. I am also trying to be as HEALTHY as possible in order to carry my rainbow baby to the finish line, healthy and strong. xoxo

  42. I am so happy that you are in a better place and ready to start trying to fulfill your dream of being a mom! Wishing you all the best!

    I’m curious about one thing…how did Doug not know that he had all that outstanding Student Loan debt? My husband and I had TONS of Student Loan debt plus credit cards out the wazoo! Took us 10 years and a debt consolidation to finally get it all paid off, so I get it! I’m just curious how he didn’t know he owed it??

    1. Your guess is as good as mine. We both got his credit repot – even the BANK had his credit report for when we were trying to buy a home. None of these credit reports showed this judgment. Then at the very last minute the lender found it and told us about it. …real stinky situation, to say the least. lol xoxo

  43. i wish best of luck for Another baby i and god bless you with healthy baby at i know go i miscarriage in 2010 and in 2011 god bless healthy baby and she now that she 5 has some healthy because she 4 lbs want i have her but get she get sick find she have asthma now and some that have allergies but still healthy but any where every one dessert some good in there lift god get plan for every one

  44. Sweet girl. Your in a warm place right now.Loved and supported by family and all us fans. Relax and just let life happen. Bonnie and Doug Sr. are wonderful people and they want the best for you and their son. Your rainbow baby will show up just when it should. Your at a point when it might seem the lowest. It’s actually just a life lesson. You know how much Doug’s parents care and are there for you both. It’s a place of love. This is a chance to repair your credit and work, play and relax. Don’t get hung up every month waiting for the stick to give the plus sign. Relax, wrap yourself in all the love and Doug’s arms. Rainbows come out after a bad storm. Love you all

  45. Hi Jamie! So happy to hear you guys are ready to try for your rainbow baby! Also- living with in-laws is a great way to save a lot of money. Glad to hear it’s going good so far, they do seem like very sweet people. (And remember too if they ever get on your nerves or vice-versa, it is only a temporary situation, not forever.). Prayers for you & Doug that God grants you the desires of your heart and that you have a healthy pregnancy on the horizon!

  46. Hey Jamie I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story and that I have you in my prayers I hope your rainbow baby comes soon. Also I don’t know if this will help but I follow this YouTube Missy and Bryan Lanning and they have a YouTube show called Daily Bumps and they also discussed about them loosing two babies within the same year and them trying for their rainbow baby. Anyway I thought that would help you maybe.
    P.S I just want to thank you for being my inspiration and for sharing your life through tv and blogs i know it must be hard. But you and Doug both give me hope for the future of love and relationships. Anyway I’m a huge fan and I hope I can meet you someday I hope your rest of your year is amazing and I’ll be praying that you get a rainbow baby soon

    1. I’ll def look into that youtube series. thanks for sharing with me! Thank you so much for all of your love and support – means more than you’ll ever know. 🙂 xoxoxo

  47. It seems strangely right that you get to live with his parents for a season. You get to truly experience the stable home life of a healthy family with loving parents that you have always longed to have. It may seem unconventional but you all are anything but conventional and sometimes that’s exactly how we learn and grow and heal best. I love that your challenges have drawn you closer together and strengthened your marriage. That’s not always the case so you both continue to be a living example and inspiration to others of what marriage and family can be. Thanks for continuing to give us a peek into your world. Cheering for you

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