Married At First Sight D Day
It’s D Day in Married At First Sight world. D Day as in decision day, D Day as in DIVORCE day. And, it’s the fastest divorce in the history of Married At First Sight! What on earth happened between Heather Seidel and Derek Schwartz?!
Ok, I was at a festival last weekend signing my book and displaying my jewelry for one of the very first times in public. (Woot, woot!) I absolutely LOVE meeting fans and inevitably we end up gossiping about Married At First Sight. (Guilty pleasure announced. Go ahead …judge away, but I know you do it too! 😛 ) Ha! No, but really — almost every single person who came up to me was so sad to hear about Derek and Heather’s divorce — and they almost always pointed the finger at Heather as the one to blame. I get that because she is the one who chose to walk away from their marriage and “take a break.” She went home for “space” and left Derek to be by himself after their super rocky honeymoon. (If you choose to sleep under separate roofs while in this experiment then you automatically failed this experiment and yourself, IMO.) She’s also the one who decided she didn’t want to continue with this marriage and opted for divorce while Derek was willing to try to make it work. So, yeah, I think it’s fair to say she is the reason they’re divorced. But, she isn’t some evil witch filled with hate who never gave her husband a chance.
I remember my Married At First Sight wedding day like it was yesterday. I didn’t let myself even think about what I was doing leading up to it because I was so scared I’d back out — and I knew deep down inside that this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. I truly believed that. I whole-heartedly trusted the experts and I trusted in the science behind it. However, the morning of my wedding, when I put my wedding dress on (which wouldn’t zip all the way up so I had to cut out my bra – true story) I freaked the EF out (and not because of the dress not fitting – or maybe that did have something to do with it all?!)! Up until that point I was able to keep busy with wedding planning (in the two weeks time you have) and making sure my friends and family were comfortable and being taken care of since they took the 4 hour trip from upstate to celebrate with me and my strange wedding in NYC.
Seeing my reflection in the mirror wearing a beautiful, white wedding dress with my hair all curled and a bouquet in my hand gave me a real fast REALITY CHECK. I am getting married to a complete stranger today. Imagine thinking that the morning of your wedding. Now tell me you wouldn’t freak out, too!
I am always in awe of the people who say “But you knew what you were getting yourself into.” Another one that just fascinates me is “She’s treating him like he’s a stranger still.” Like, “What?!” Yes, I had two weeks to prepare myself to marry a stranger. Yes, I went into this with the best of intentions hoping for a fairy tale (because, duh, don’t we all want that). And yes, I am treating him like a stranger still because I BARELY know him. How is that wrong?! In my opinion, that is NORMAL.
Up until this point I’d think it’s safe to say Heather and I responded quite similarly, but she had A LOT more class than I had on my wedding day. It got REAL for her the night of their wedding when she had a second to think about it all — going to bed with a complete stranger in bed next to her who is her husband. Again, I think a freak-out moment is ok. What I am sad about for Heather is that she never had the opportunity to relax and enjoy her marriage (unless you count that one night on their honeymoon where she got tipsy). Maybe then she would have been able to see Derek the way we see Derek — sweet, charming, and handsome.
I was very fortunate because I had the most patient, understanding, unflappable husband, Doug. I was blessed to begin having chemistry with him the moment we began chatting on our plane ride to St. Thomas. (Where we honeymoon’ed and where I couldn’t run away or hide.) But that’s not what happened for Heather. For whatever reason, Heather didn’t get the time she needed to digest it all and she became more and more closed-minded about everything. I do feel like she may have missed out on the love of her life (because, Hello, if I hadn’t opened my mind and began feeling comfortable with my husband then I would have missed out on my soul mate!). I wish I could’ve been there for her. I just think she needed some girl talk from one MAFS bride to another to help her understand that it’s OK to freak out. And it’s also OK to relax and try to get to know this strange dude who is now your husband.
So, I guess I just wanted to say to Heather: “Girl, I get it.” And, my husband always says “No one can fail from this experiment if they learn something from it.” I hope you learned something valuable to take with you on all your travels.
I wanted to show you all another perspective on Heather. There’s no doubt Derek is a great man and she’s missing out, but Heather is equally a great woman who was just scared to death and never had a chance to relax during her whole marriage. I wish things were different for them, but I wish them both the best going forward.
What about Nick and Sonia and Tom and Lilly
Geesh, now that I’ve spent my whole blog talking about Heather and Derek’s divorce, I wanted to touch base on our last two couples. They aren’t straight up smooth-sailing either. But, I want to give them props for giving the experiment a FULL chance and not walking away from it when the sh!t hits the fan. I suspect that’s because they each have chemistry and romantic feelings towards each other. (I never would have guessed with Tom and Lilly. 😛 ) …Nick may not know it yet, and that is OK.
I shared my thoughts with you, now tell me yours. What do you think about Heather choosing divorce?
Did you catch the behind-the-scenes secrets the couples shared with me on last week’s Married At First Sight: Unfiltered? If not, check it out:
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