Married At First Sight: Good Sex Makes Up For EVERYTHING

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Lilly finally met the third wheel in their relationship. :-P
Lilly finally met the third wheel in their relationship. 😛

 Good Sex Drowns Out Any Issue

Ok, we FINALLY got to see Lillian Vilchez’s reaction to Tom Wilson’s bus on last week’s Married At First Sight. Can I just say EPIC let down?! Her reaction was shocking in all the right ways. I was prepared for a disaster but she was so mature and rational. This was her response: “Oh, my God — really?” Then she says,”What the f–k! The worst fears that I had expressed to the experts might be happening right now.” But as soon as Tom gave her the grand tour she seemed genuinely curious and supportive of his mobile, tiny living. I had prepped myself for some sort of “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU LIVE IN A BUS?!” Nope, no drama for this couple. They are head over heals in love – ALREADY. (No, they definitely haven’t tossed out the “L” word themselves, so I’ll throw it out there for them.) They’re in puppy LOVE. 

What’s most interesting about these two is that no matter what the problem is they are respectful and sensible to each other. But let’s be real,”HOW ON EARTH CAN LILLY BE SO CALM?!” I was married at first sight too and I sure as heck wasn’t calm … at all … ever. I didn’t even know HOW to be. How can Lilly? She’s only 24 years old so it’s not like age & wisdom is on her side. What is it with this girl and Tom? After thinking for a few minutes I figured it out! It must be the sex. And after reading some of their thoughts, I don’t think I’m far off. (I didn’t have sex with my husband for 2 full months plus some because I wasn’t comfortable enough and I wanted to be sure he loved and respected me 100% before we consummated our marriage – I know, I’m weird but this game plan worked for us.)

Lilly and Tom's favorite place.
Lilly and Tom’s favorite place.

This couple has been married about a week in real time (nearly 2 months in TV time) and they’ve consummated their marriage  over and over again. The first night of their honeymoon the “sexual tension snaps like a steel cable” – Tom’s words, not mine – “They don’t sleep very much.” Lilly says to the camera that she REALLY ENJOYS IT in more or less words. 😉 I think their recipe for marital success thus far is this (and we could all learn a thing or two from them so if you’re struggling, take notes):

I had to share this photo, too. Lilly seems to be enjoying her time in the bus...and look at those floors. I like!
I had to share this photo, too. Lilly seems to be enjoying her time in the bus…and look at those floors. I like!
    • Respect for each other from the get-go – Lilly had an altercation with her sister at their wedding reception and Tom was there for her on day one.

    • COMMUNICATION – Dum, dum, dum! The dreaded confrontational or intimate chats. They’re not always fun, but when you’re done you feel so much closer, loved, and understood by your significant other. And having these chats help you grow as a couple…as long as you have the next quality on this list.

    • Non-judgmental – this one is HUGE! Tom could easily judge Lilly as being materialistic because she drives a new Lexus (he hates materialistic women) and Lilly could just as easily judge him for living on a bus (she sells luxury real estate), but instead they try to understand each other. It’s really amazing to see this happening in such a young relationship.

    • PATIENCE – I actually can’t think of a specific time when these two showed patience with one another. (Can you?!) They always seem to be on the same page so they haven’t  had to…yet. But I cannot NOT talk about this in this list because it’s so important for a healthy relationship.

  • SEX LIFE  C’mon, we all know a good sex life works WONDERS on a relationship. It’s not everything, but it’s definitely the cherry on top. These two are a prime example…just saying.

 

The Struggle Is Real

Derek and Heather haven’t been able to find these qualities in each other or their relationship. As a matter of fact, they keep doing the exact opposite of what’s on this list. Do you ever find yourself talking to the TV in hopes your favorites can hear you? It’s like, “If I could just tell them THIS then maybe it’d help!” This happens to me a lot with this couple. It is literally cringe-worthy watching these two try to be a happy married couple…and it’s so sad. But they aren’t hopeless. They each reached out for help which shows some promise. You know what they say, “First step to fix any problem is to realize there is a problem.” They definitely have that step down.

sex Married At FIrst Sight
Body language says it all.

Sayin’ It Like It Is

Pastor Calvin Roberson to the rescue. And boy, he doesn’t mince words. He straight up told them that there were over 30,000 people who applied for Married At First Sight and not one of them are perfect. (Side note: my husband does not agree. Ha!) When Heather Seidel begins telling him she is exhausted and over whelmed and just wants a little break Pastor Calvin said it like it is: “There are no breaks in marriage.” I definitely agree with this. Sure you can have some time away from each other, but I don’t see how sleeping under separate roofs and spending days away from each other is going to be helpful in a struggling marriage.

It didn’t matter what he said though, you can still see the exhaustion all over Heather’s face. Her mind was made up. She definitely wanted to spend some alone time in her own home and needed time to think. And that’s just what she did, leaving Derek alone.

 

Awkward Has Never Been So Cute

While Tom and Lilly are spending every waking moment between the sheets and Derek and Heather are spending their time far, far away from each other, Nick Pendergrast and Sonia Granados are somewhere in-between. They’re definitely not having sex, but they aren’t fighting their way through their marriage. I feel like this is probably the most relatable couple. They’re just awkward and cute and taking their time…maybe too much time for Sonia’s liking. 😉 She’s been yearning for Nick to express how he feels about her (which really means she just wants to hear she is beautiful from HIM, which has yet to happen.). But about that list of qualities for a good marriage that we were just discussing — yeah — they definitely have a lot of those qualities. For example, Sonia is deathly afraid of dogs, but she isn’t letting that get in the way of their marriage. At times Nick thinks Sonia is going too fast, but they talk it out and reach an understanding before going to sleep. Yep, I have high hopes for this couple!

Married at first sight sex

Post-nup After Being Married At First Sight

Huh? I have never heard of any Married At First Sight couple doing this, but this is exactly what Tom is asking Lilly for. Lilly privately says, “Trusting each other and creating an emotional bond” is what she prefers. It doesn’t sound very romantic in their land of endless romance to draft up some legal documents in order to keep from having to divvy up their assets evenly should divorce come, but Lilly told Tom she wouldn’t mind. (Tom must really care about his bus! Ha!) To be honest though, I think this could be a good thing for them. Being married in such a strange way is scary, I don’t care what anyone says! Having the sound knowledge that they’re on the same page of “what’s yours is yours and what’s mine is mine” could keep them from letting weird financial fears get in the way.

What do you think? Do you think it was wrong of Tom to ask for a post-nuptial agreement? Do you think Heather and Derek have a chance at saving their marriage? We will find out tonight on a new episode of Married At First Sight!

Here’s your scoop of Married At First Sight:Unfiltered:

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Married At First Sight and Married At First Sight:Unfiltered air every Tuesday on A&E and FYI. (Married At First Sight:Unfiltered, hosted by yours truly, is ONLY on FYI!) Grab your glass of wine and watch and tweet LIVE along with me at 8:45pm EST! I cannot wait! And don’t forget to join my mailing list so you never miss out! (Join at the very bottom of this blog if you’re on your smart phone. Join at the right of this blog if you’re on your laptop/desktop computer.)


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10 comments
  1. Although I am seeing Heather and Derek struggle I hope they truly focus on why they were matched. If they put their time, effort and commitment they can make it work. However, everyone is different so we have to respect their decision. As far as Lily and Tom, I truly love them together, I believe they are doing all they can to make it work and will most likely succeed. Yes they have intimacy, but I also see other qualities in both of them that will help their marriage grow. As for Sonia and Nick, I also love them. They are taking things rather slow, but it works for them. They are mature, know what they want and are committed. Sonia may have to initiate with gentle physical affection, but I think Nick will respond to it. I see the way he looks at her and it is clear he is attracted to her. I have high hopes for their marriage.

    On another note, I love you and Doug, keep doing what you are doing. God bless.

  2. Great write up about last week, I love reading each week! The post nup is interesting but I understand trying to protect yourself when you really don’t know the other person. I have so much hope for Sonia and Nick! Please let that marriage (and all 3 for that matter) last!!

  3. Man, I’m not sure I have much hope for Derek and Heather but I’m sure rooting for them to really give the marriage a fighting chance. Tom and Lilly are getting along so well that they almost make too much sense so I don’t get as excited watching them as I do Nick and Sonia, who remain my favorite couple. I love your sub-title that awkwardness has never been so cute. It’s really true, and sometimes awkward makes for the best stories. They are adorable and I REALLY hope they can make it work. By the way, I know she would like for Nick to simply offer but I think she should straight out ask him is he finds her beautiful. It might open something up for them in communication.

  4. Very well written!! Great in site into who you are and why. Great read for other people who have had a rough upbringing, whether male or female. Love the way you tell it like it is, no sugar coating. Much respet to you!

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