Ay yi yi!!! (Sp?) Geesh, this season of Married At First Sight is so hard to watch. But yet I can’t peel my eyes away from the TV screen. At times it is super romantic (almost every moment with Lilly Vilchez and Tom Wilson) but most times it is a train wreck (Derek Schwartz and Heather Seidel have divorced after 10 days and Sonia just walked out on her husband – and rightfully so!).
Spoiler Alert: Another Couple Has Had Sex
If you haven’t seen previews for tonight’s Married At First Sight then you will be surprised to hear that Nick and Sonia have consummated their marriage. Yep, they had sex. And according to Sonia – not just once. This is most surprising to hear since last week we saw Nick screaming he isn’t attracted to her. Actually I am going to quote what he said because it is most shocking (and hurtful). “My own expectation was that we were going to get along and that they matched us correctly and it was going to be f‑‑king flowers and rose fields, and it’s not!” he shouted. “You shouldn’t have to work at anything! There should be no f‑‑king effort involved! You should just match! It doesn’t make sense to me.” He then told the cameras: “I don’t like her! That’s opening up! I can’t open up any more than that. I don’t think she’s attractive, and I’m not attracted to her, and that is me opening up to the fullest f‑‑king extent.” [Insert all the teary eyed emojis you can find here.]
I don’t know how Sonia didn’t just break down crying in a big heaping mess. I know I would have! I find this to be one of the most surprising turning points in all of Married At First Sight. First of all, who knew Nick had it in him to shout – he usually barely peeps a word. Secondly, they seemed to be getting along great. Ok, not intimately. But yeah, their friendship seemed genuine and to be going in the right direction. It was only when Sonia wanted to work on intimacy did Nick freak out. I guess maybe you could have saw it coming since he always pulled away, but I had hearts in my eyes for them. I just didn’t see this happening with them. It’s so heartbreaking to watch.
Advice For All Relationships & Marriages
EVERY.SINGLE.RELATIONSHIP.TAKES.WORK!!! I don’t know why on earth Nick would think it’d be all rainbows and butterflies – he married a complete stranger! I’m not trying to call Nick out on this because he isn’t the only one who thinks relationships should be easy peasy. I remember I was once interviewed by a dude from some radio show and when I told him Doug and I have to work HARD every single day to keep our love alive and strengthen our marriage he said “It shouldn’t have to take so much work. My girlfriend and I don’t need to work at it all.” I was so embarrassed and I actually kind of believed him. So then I began basing Doug’s and my relationship on this standard that it should be “easy.” Clearly, we failed to meet this standard. Why? Because it is completely unrealistic.
Now that I am older and wiser I’d like to send a message to that radio host dude: you’re wrong. Relationships and marriages take work — a lot of work. I think there are too many people caught up in the misconception that relationships are like your favorite movie—after going through a few hard times the couple ends up conquering and living happily ever after. NOPE. It doesn’t work like that. There’s like this weird belief that if you have more than a few rocky moments within a certain period of time you should just quit the relationship because you’re clearly not meant to be. That just isn’t the case. What I’ve found so far in my marriage is that there are MANY arguments, fights, disagreements, etc. It’s only after you tackle them together that you grow more in love and stronger in your relationship.
Summing Up MAFS Season 4 Thus Far
Derek and Heather seemed likely to get divorced (and did), Lilly and Tom can’t keep their eyes (and hands) off each other, but Sonia and Nick have been kinda up and down and all around. Their quirky, awkward romance is SO sweet. As I said on twitter, I want Nick to go back to that sweet, quirky man we all loved from the first few episodes. I know he has it in him. And just like I said, everyone goes through hard times. Before I can sit here and write cussing words at Nick for treating Sonia the way he did, I need to take a step back and look at the way I have treated my husband in the past when we were going through a hard time. It’s easy to point the finger at someone else, but when it’s pointed right back at you you don’t want to believe it. News Flash: we have ALL had moments in time under pressure where we just snapped. It’s super hard to admit because it makes us look like lousy scums and no, it’s not fair to the other person at all. BUT, I believe in forgiveness. I also believe in that good ‘ol saying “live and learn.” The thing that is most important is that Nick realizes his actions and words were wrong and hurtful. He needs to admit he was wrong and then he must change and not treat her like this again. Otherwise, in my opinion, that’s when Sonia would have every right to just walk away. No one should stay in a relationship where they aren’t loved and respected 100%. I hope we see him apologizing tonight. We all know Sonia has a forgiving heart — God bless that girl!
Birthday Love
I can’t end this blog without just a quick mention of the cutesy Lilly and Tom. Lilly wins wifey award! I mean did you see that epic b-day party she threw for Tom? And how sweet was it to see Tom’s big grin from ear to ear when he saw his brother was there to surprise him! This couple is filled with the mushy, gushy love stuff. I have such high hopes for them. I know Nick and Sonia can get there too.
Anticipation
Based on previews, it looks like Heather and Derek reunite on tonight’s episode. Sooo, does that mean they’re giving it another try? I’m so eager to find out! I also can’t wait to see how Nick and Sonia move forward. I am praying for these two because they could be so great together!
Did you catch the behind-the-scenes secrets the couples shared with me on last week’s Married At First Sight: Unfiltered? If not, check it out:
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Jamie Otis
6 comments
Nick, Nick, Nick…….”You shouldn’t have to work at anything!!!!” Ummmmmmm…what??????? I’ve been married (happily!) for almost 20 years and we always have to work at it. Poor thing.
Lilly and Tom MUST stay together!!! Love them.
Oh wow, poor Sonia! I can’t imagine how she feels! She is definitely the bigger person here and seems to be forgiving Nick. I can’t say I could have moved on from that, but it looks like she is going to and major props to her! I really do hope they can work it out. I see them as the Jamie and Doug couple 🙂
Lily and Tom just work so good together. They seem to be getting along really well, but there are a few rocky points here and there. I was shocked that Tom’s last relationship ended because he didn’t want to commit. That does worry me a bit, but hey, now he’s married at first sight. So we will see how this goes! I see them as the Jason and Courtney couple.
And lastly, Heather and Derek. Heather seems giddy when Derek walks in! Keeping my fingers crossed they might give it one more try. Guess we will see next week!
As for Nick and Sonia, he needs to REALLY work on his communication skills. Open up a little at a time and please SMILE once and a while! It wouldn’t hurt to reach out and hold her hand now and then or come up to her and give her a sweet kiss and hug. Baby steps but keep them coming daily. Sonia is trying so hard to learn what he is all about but he buts up the “wall” and she can’t figure out what he wants or needs in order for their marriage to work. I really am hopeful for them, pretty sure about Tom and Lilly and “bye bye” to Derek and Heather! She is never going to have a man to suit her in my opinion!
Very well-written, Jamie. There isn’t a relationship in this world that doesn’t take some amount of effort. Those who think otherwise are fairly misguided. If no effort is required, I wonder how much value the relationship actually holds. Conflict is inevitable. How the conflict is dealt with is the telling piece. My heart sank last week after Nick’s escapade. I’ve really been hoping for him and Sonia to make it. It’s so easy for us to pass judgment and condemn them, especially Nick, but that’s really unfair considering none of us know either of them personally and none of us knows how we’d react in a similar situation until we’re in it, save for maybe you and Doug 😉 I will say that I was stunned that he denied sex but then Sonia said it did happen. That raised a bit of a red flag but even still, I hope they can rally and that Nick will do what it takes to make the appropriate amends. As a final note, I got a little giddy thinking that Heather might give things a second chance with Derek. I kind of can’t wait to watch tonight. I hope there are happy endings and not more heartache.
Thank you, Ann. I am so shocked about so many things on this season of mafs – that’s for sure! xoxo