We are so excited to shout from the rooftops – WE ARE PREGNANT WITH OUR RAINBOW BABY!!! 🙂
My hubby, Doug, and I are beyond THRILLED to announce that we are expecting a sweet bundle of joy in August! Like I said earlier on my instagram, Facebook, and Twitter – we’ve been beyond blessed with having the most amazing, supportive #frans (friends + fans). You’ve been there through the highs of us first being Married At First Sight and our vow renewal to the lows of us losing our sweet Johnathan last summer.
We can’t thank you enough for all the love and support you’ve given us…we see every email, blog comment, social media interaction – they bring a smile to our faces. It warms our hearts knowing we have such a big family. 🙂
We can feel the love you send our way and we can’t thank you enough…I know I just said it, but we are genuinely so thankul and feel so blessed for all of your advice, encouragement, love, and support!
WE ARE PREGNANT! (I love being able to say that!)
We’ve shared our lives with you since the moment we said “I do” and we’re so excited to share this next adventure with you, too! Doug and I are beyond thankful and excited for this new little miracle growing inside me. We feel so blessed and honored and excited and proud and ahh, so many feelings! 🙂
I’d be lying if I didn’t add that we are also a bit fearful of losing our sweet little peanut, but we are choosing happiness and excitement over fear.
When I first became pregnant I was so elated (we had been trying since the loss of our first born son, Johnathan, at 17 weeks). After months of trying we finally saw “pregnant” and two lines confirming I’m pregnant (on multiple different tests because one wasn’t enough!)
I immediately wanted to shout out loud to anyone who would listen “I’m going to be a mommy!” I’ve been dreaming of becoming a mommy for as long as I can remember.
We began telling friends and family and their reactions kind of scared me. Most responded with “Oh, be careful!” or “Don’t share this news! What if….” and I feel like my emotions went from joyous and excited to petrified and fearful of losing our little rainbow baby. I had some people tell me to wait at least 5 months before sharing our pregnancy since we lost our son at a little over 4 months. I know my family and friends love us and just want to protect us so this is their natural reaction.
Announcing We’re Pregnant “Early”
I don’t know who came up with the “rule” of waiting to announce you’re pregnant until you’re in the clear. The “clear” being your second trimester (the end of your 12th week of pregnancy.) This is when the risks of losing your baby significantly decrease.
Nonetheless, everyone and their momma abide by this rule like it’s gold. I mean, it kinda sounds like it makes sense. It’s meant to protect you should you lose your baby. You wouldn’t want to announce you’re pregnant and then lose it, would you?
Well, that’s exactly what happened to me with my first born son, Johnathan.
I announced my pregnancy on The Today Show last July and within a week I was hearing I would likely lose my son…and then at 17 weeks, 1 day pregnant I delivered my sweet boy and he went to be in Heaven. To say it was absolutely excruciating is an understatement.
Looking back I am so thankful that I had announced my pregnancy and everyone knew about my sweet Johnny. First of all, it validated his life. He was real. He existed. He had meaning. Had I not been in my second trimester and I lost him would I have ever shared him with anyone?
Talking about miscarriage is one of the most taboo topics in this country. It’s always awkward and uncomfortable. No one knows what to say and most feel like they won’t say the right thing so they avoid it like the plague.
But this causes nothing but pain, isolation, and depression for the poor momma who just lost her sweet baby.
Breaking The “Pregnancy Announcement” Rule For All The Right Reasons
Reason one being I am so overly excited for my sweet little peanut who is growing in my belly. I cannot keep our amazing rainbow baby secret any longer! 🙂 Reason number two: for every women who has ever had to suffer from a loss alone and for all the women who will go through the excruciating pain of losing her baby in secrecy in the future. I pray you have an abundance of love, comfort, and support surrounding you.
I hope we can change this golden “rule” of pregnancy announcement to one that supports women who carry to full term and those who lose their baby early. After all, it’s 1 in 4 women who suffers a loss. These women shouldn’t have to suffer alone.
I am very passionate about announcing pregnancy “early” for so many reasons. I will share more on this later, but for now I will leave you with an article by a woman who totally gets it.
Our Rainbow Baby Is Growing Strong
We are now 10 weeks pregnant with absolutely no complications. (I’m knocking on wood as I type this.) Is the fear still there? Yes, unfortunately. But we are choosing to squash that fear with happiness and joy. There’s a sweet baby growing inside me and we couldn’t be happier! This little one deserves to be celebrated with love and excitement from the moment he/she is conceived, not hidden away in fear. 🙂[bctt tweet=”Rainbow babies are most special – They have a big sister/brother in heaven watching over them at all times. :-)” username=”jamieotis”]
To The Mommas Who’ve Suffered A Loss
After I lost my son I found myself seeking advice from women on the web. I felt like I needed to find ways to honor my son and keep his memory alive. I’d stumble upon different blogs and I’d read what was helpful for other women as far as coping mechanisms, etc.
So – to the woman who may have just suffered a loss and stumbled upon my blog – my heart breaks in a million pieces for you.
Losing a baby is so isolating, painful and if you’re not careful it can leave you in a deep, dark depression.
They say the pain goes away in time and I suppose that’s true. But there will also be times when it feels like it just happened yesterday. I know the absolute agony you feel with every moment you realize your sweet baby is no longer safe and sound growing inside you.
There are truly no words, but please don’t feel like you have to suffer alone. You aren’t alone. Unfortunately, there are so many of us women who have suffered from this terrible loss.
Talking about your loss can be difficult in a world that has such a stigma associated with pregnancy and infant loss. I found blogging to share my feelings was helpful for me. I also learned that there are support groups on Facebook, in churches, and even on certain apps.
The best thing I did for myself was talk about my loss. I felt like I could validate my sweet, innocent son’s life in this way. I didn’t want him to just be forgotten – or worse – never even known about as if he never existed. The support and love I received from women who have suffered from a similar loss was more helpful than I can put in words. My friends and family all tried their best to be there (and they were absolutely amazing) but there’s something about talking to a woman who truly understands what you’re going through.
My best advice to you is to seek out a support group and don’t be shy to let your sweet Angel’s life live on through you. My heart goes out to you and I send you so much love! Here are a few ways that I found to honor my angel baby. I hope this is helpful to you. I am sending you loads of love.
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