We are so excited to shout from the rooftops – WE ARE PREGNANT WITH OUR RAINBOW BABY!!! 🙂
My hubby, Doug, and I are beyond THRILLED to announce that we are expecting a sweet bundle of joy in August! Like I said earlier on my instagram, Facebook, and Twitter – we’ve been beyond blessed with having the most amazing, supportive #frans (friends + fans). You’ve been there through the highs of us first being Married At First Sight and our vow renewal to the lows of us losing our sweet Johnathan last summer.
We can’t thank you enough for all the love and support you’ve given us…we see every email, blog comment, social media interaction – they bring a smile to our faces. It warms our hearts knowing we have such a big family. 🙂
We can feel the love you send our way and we can’t thank you enough…I know I just said it, but we are genuinely so thankul and feel so blessed for all of your advice, encouragement, love, and support!
WE ARE PREGNANT! (I love being able to say that!)
We’ve shared our lives with you since the moment we said “I do” and we’re so excited to share this next adventure with you, too! Doug and I are beyond thankful and excited for this new little miracle growing inside me. We feel so blessed and honored and excited and proud and ahh, so many feelings! 🙂
I’d be lying if I didn’t add that we are also a bit fearful of losing our sweet little peanut, but we are choosing happiness and excitement over fear.
Rainbow Baby
When I first became pregnant I was so elated (we had been trying since the loss of our first born son, Johnathan, at 17 weeks). After months of trying we finally saw “pregnant” and two lines confirming I’m pregnant (on multiple different tests because one wasn’t enough!)
I immediately wanted to shout out loud to anyone who would listen “I’m going to be a mommy!” I’ve been dreaming of becoming a mommy for as long as I can remember.
We began telling friends and family and their reactions kind of scared me. Most responded with “Oh, be careful!” or “Don’t share this news! What if….” and I feel like my emotions went from joyous and excited to petrified and fearful of losing our little rainbow baby. I had some people tell me to wait at least 5 months before sharing our pregnancy since we lost our son at a little over 4 months. I know my family and friends love us and just want to protect us so this is their natural reaction.
Announcing We’re Pregnant “Early”
I don’t know who came up with the “rule” of waiting to announce you’re pregnant until you’re in the clear. The “clear” being your second trimester (the end of your 12th week of pregnancy.) This is when the risks of losing your baby significantly decrease.
Nonetheless, everyone and their momma abide by this rule like it’s gold. I mean, it kinda sounds like it makes sense. It’s meant to protect you should you lose your baby. You wouldn’t want to announce you’re pregnant and then lose it, would you?
Pregnancy Loss
Well, that’s exactly what happened to me with my first born son, Johnathan.
I announced my pregnancy on The Today Show last July and within a week I was hearing I would likely lose my son…and then at 17 weeks, 1 day pregnant I delivered my sweet boy and he went to be in Heaven. To say it was absolutely excruciating is an understatement.
Looking back I am so thankful that I had announced my pregnancy and everyone knew about my sweet Johnny. First of all, it validated his life. He was real. He existed. He had meaning. Had I not been in my second trimester and I lost him would I have ever shared him with anyone?
Probably not.
Talking about miscarriage is one of the most taboo topics in this country. It’s always awkward and uncomfortable. No one knows what to say and most feel like they won’t say the right thing so they avoid it like the plague.
But this causes nothing but pain, isolation, and depression for the poor momma who just lost her sweet baby.
Breaking The “Pregnancy Announcement” Rule For All The Right Reasons
Reason one being I am so overly excited for my sweet little peanut who is growing in my belly. I cannot keep our amazing rainbow baby secret any longer! 🙂 Reason number two: for every women who has ever had to suffer from a loss alone and for all the women who will go through the excruciating pain of losing her baby in secrecy in the future. I pray you have an abundance of love, comfort, and support surrounding you.
I hope we can change this golden “rule” of pregnancy announcement to one that supports women who carry to full term and those who lose their baby early. After all, it’s 1 in 4 women who suffers a loss. These women shouldn’t have to suffer alone.
I am very passionate about announcing pregnancy “early” for so many reasons. I will share more on this later, but for now I will leave you with an article by a woman who totally gets it.
Our Rainbow Baby Is Growing Strong
We are now 10 weeks pregnant with absolutely no complications. (I’m knocking on wood as I type this.) Is the fear still there? Yes, unfortunately. But we are choosing to squash that fear with happiness and joy. There’s a sweet baby growing inside me and we couldn’t be happier! This little one deserves to be celebrated with love and excitement from the moment he/she is conceived, not hidden away in fear. 🙂
[bctt tweet=”Rainbow babies are most special – They have a big sister/brother in heaven watching over them at all times. :-)” username=”jamieotis”]
To The Mommas Who’ve Suffered A Loss
After I lost my son I found myself seeking advice from women on the web. I felt like I needed to find ways to honor my son and keep his memory alive. I’d stumble upon different blogs and I’d read what was helpful for other women as far as coping mechanisms, etc.
So – to the woman who may have just suffered a loss and stumbled upon my blog – my heart breaks in a million pieces for you.
Losing a baby is so isolating, painful and if you’re not careful it can leave you in a deep, dark depression.
They say the pain goes away in time and I suppose that’s true. But there will also be times when it feels like it just happened yesterday. I know the absolute agony you feel with every moment you realize your sweet baby is no longer safe and sound growing inside you.
There are truly no words, but please don’t feel like you have to suffer alone. You aren’t alone. Unfortunately, there are so many of us women who have suffered from this terrible loss.
Talking about your loss can be difficult in a world that has such a stigma associated with pregnancy and infant loss. I found blogging to share my feelings was helpful for me. I also learned that there are support groups on Facebook, in churches, and even on certain apps.
The best thing I did for myself was talk about my loss. I felt like I could validate my sweet, innocent son’s life in this way. I didn’t want him to just be forgotten – or worse – never even known about as if he never existed. The support and love I received from women who have suffered from a similar loss was more helpful than I can put in words. My friends and family all tried their best to be there (and they were absolutely amazing) but there’s something about talking to a woman who truly understands what you’re going through.
My best advice to you is to seek out a support group and don’t be shy to let your sweet Angel’s life live on through you. My heart goes out to you and I send you so much love! Here are a few ways that I found to honor my angel baby. I hope this is helpful to you. I am sending you loads of love.
XOXO,
Jamie
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Jamie Otis
25 comments
I’m so glad you spoke about the whole “wait until you’re in the 2nd trimester” rule. I’ve always found that silly. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If Im mourning the loss of a pregnancy at 5 weeks my feelings are just as valid and I wouldn’t be able to hide them anyway! I endured 6 IVF cycles and lost 18 babies. Just because I was only pregnant for 2 weeks each time didn’t make it hurt less. I have pictures of my fertilized embryos. They were real. Thank you for speaking out! And CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
lots of love sent to you my dear! xoxo
And I was so EXCITED I forgot to tell you what was he point of my comment!
CONGRATULATIONS 🙂
Jamie,
I have had 4 miscarriages in the past 5 years and each one is harder and harder. But I am currently pregnant with my rainbow baby as well. I am 11 weeks today! Like you said it is hard to know how to deal with the loss of your babies and its also so sad that there is such a stigma around miscarriages. I am very open and vocal about my losses. I feel like if I am open, maybe I am helping someone else open up about it. Thank you for being such an open book about all that you have gone through. I am so happy to hear about your rainbow baby. I am due in August as well and so so excited. Obviously still cautious but excited nonetheless. We have decided to tell close family and friends at first and as we get farther along tell others. Congratulations to you and Doug!!!
Sending you loads of love! xoxo
Getting your email in my inbox was the most joyful thing ever! I am so happy and excited for you. We had our rainbow baby just over 2 years ago and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.. There’s almost a deeper connection (I don’t know how to describe it 🙂 ) anyways!! I am due now with my second baby JUST 5 weeks after you! But the courage it took for you to tell people your expecting again and not waiting the 3 months is amazing. I believe support is helpful. Ok now I’m rambling! But I’ve been reading your blogs for awhile now and it just makes me SO excited for you!!!!! EEEKKK
awww Thanks Jasmine! 🙂
I am so happy for you!!!! Congratulations!!!!!
Jamie and Doug, congratulations, and the very very best wishes for your health and that of your rainbow baby! Like many others, I cried tears of joy for you as I watched your announcement last night. My rainbow baby is 50! He was born long before the term existed, but I have been grateful for him every day. One reason for that “unspoken rule” about when to announce is that back in those days, there were no EPT’s and you couldn’t even make a doctor’s appointment until you missed two periods! Thank goodness we’ve learned better and know how critical the first six weeks are!
My heart still breaks at the loss of your sweet Johnathan but it bursts with joy at this wonderful rainbow baby news! So happy for you guys 🙂 I have been praying for your family & that God would bless you with a rainbow baby and the Lord put it especially on my heart as Johnny’s due date & Christmas approached. It warms my heart to see God answer these prayers as the words are uttered 🙂 I shall keep praying for you & your family and look forward to you sharing news of your safe arrival of this precious miracle! Congratulations!!!
thank you so much! 🙂 xoxo
I am absolutely thrilled for you. This photo is gorgeous and perfect and I literally cried for you when I saw it.
My rainbow baby is now an awesome 6 year old with a 3 year old little sister. I’ve been where you’re at and I felt exactly the same about announcing early. “Safe” zone doesn’t mean much when you’ve had a late loss. You’ll feel the mixture of joy and fear well into your rainbow’s babyhood, but eventually you settle into being a mom and realize nothing can take that away from you now.
So congratulations!! I wish your family so much happiness.
Oh and also I think its great youre announcing it early. Who cares what anyone else thinks. You have chosen very bravely to be open with the world in all things so why shouldn’t you allow your joy to be public? People are trolls. Or have ill placed good intentions. Forget that, shout to the rooftops girl!
Jamie!!! Congradulations!!! I am so happy for you and Doug!! I have been following your story since married at first sight, and commented on your loss last year. I have been hoping for this news for you. I saw it last night on TV and I actually cried!! I know how much you want this baby. I am also a RN and although life left me down a different path, always wanted to do labor and delivery. So I can only imagine with all that experience with babies how much more it made you want that for yourself and how huge that loss is. And it makes this amazing rainbow baby that much more special. I 100% agree that this is a gift from Jonathan, I don’t believe in coincidences. Congradulations so much you two. Hugs.
Hi Jamie,
I posted a comment on your blog when you lost baby Johnathan saying I had lost my son as well at 20 weeks. We had decided to name him Jeremiah Michael. Jeremiah after the scripture and Michael after Saint Michael because his father is a Correctional Officer and I feel like he looks after him while he’s at work. I saw your post on Instagram last night and tears started streaming down my face. I am so happy for you and I am also happy to announce my husband and I are pregnant with our rainbow baby. I cannot explain the excitement and love and fear that I have but as you said, we are choosing excitement and love over fear. I know Jeremiah is looking after this little one growing in my tummy and it is a gift from him. I wish you all the best with this blessing. XOXO
CONGRATS! Sending you loads of love and happiness! xoxo
I’m so happy for Doug and you. My son and his wife are expecting their Rainbow baby too! August 11! I am over the moon!!! Best of luck.
Congrats Grandma! 🙂 xoxo
I am BEYOND excited for y’all!!! I literally cried tears of joy last night when you made the announcement! I agree 100% that your rainbow baby is a wonderful gift from your sweet Johnathan and finding out on your due date says that a million times over…what are the odds of you finding out on that particular day!!?? I also agree that the tradition of waiting to announce you are pregnant is something that needs to be put aside. I think that is something that you should celebrate right away and I know when I am blessed to become pregnant (hopefully this year!) I will want to tell everyone right away. I understand there is fear, but I agree that you should celebrate the little life inside of you from the start. I pray that you will have a happy, healthy pregnancy. Let all the positive vibes and love from your family and “frans” surround you and that precious rainbow baby! Thank you for sharing your life with all of us frans! Much love and good vibes from South Carolina!
Jamie, I am so thrilled to learn of your joyous news!! I feel like I have followed in many of your recent footsteps — getting pregnant last year and miscarrying in October. I looked to your blogs for a sense of understanding and comfort during a time of tremendous sorrow and that is what I always got out of them. You inspired me to share my story with others and not suffer alone in my despair. For that, I will always be grateful to you and your candidness throughout your heartbreaking miscarriage experience. We are yet again tracking in our lives because I am also pregnant again, 10 weeks along, due August 29th! I just had to share that with you because it was so ironically crazy to me when I read that you are 10 weeks along as well. I want to wish you the best in your pregnancy and I will try to do as you’re doing and focus on the joy instead of the fear that so often consumes me. I think it is truly a gift from God that you found out this great news the day Johnathan was due. I am so happy for you and Doug! Best wishes and prayers for our happy, healthy rainbow babies to come 🙂
I am so happy for you, Doug and Baby Jonny, this news has made my day, I don’t know you personally but thanks to the media,(tv) I feel like we’ve known for a long time. If there is anything I’ve learnt from you it’s to speak about an issue, some people might not agree with it but who cares as long as it makes you happy. Wishing you all the best in life and this journey is special for all the right reasons x
Hello Jaime, first of all CONFRATULATION!! And thanks for sharing! This was so inspirational to read. I have not had a pregnancy loss, however I too am 10 weeks pregnant with my first baby and we (husbands and I) have not announced it to EVERYONE other than immediate family. I guess for the same “golden” rule about waiting after the 12 weeks…. but really who cares, right? It feels so good when we did share the news with those we love and it absolutely does validate this precious life growing inside. Anyway, I just wanted to say that after reading your blog it gave me that little push to do what I’ve been feeling in my heart for a bit now and finally announce to the world (our circle lol) that we are happily and excitedly expecting a baby!!! Who by the way is also due in August!! This is not a coincidence, I’ve been going back and fourth about announcing it and your blog and story was that sign I needed from up above. Thank you again for sharing your story. I will pray for your sweet rainbow baby and I pray for a healthy baby and safe delivery!! Again, congrats to you both I loved watching you guys and wish nothing but the best your way!!
Congratulations!!!!! I am overwhelmed with joy for you two. I fully support announcing early. When my husband and I became pregnant after losing our 3rd child we announced very early. We wanted every day that our child’s heart was beating to be celebrated and known about. Also, I didn’t want to go through another silent loss if that was the path I was destined to take again. I talk about my loss now but had it may have been easier had I shared the pregnancy also. Anyways! Congrats! I know the fear is there in the back and it will be until you hold your little one in your arms but trust that Johnny and God are taking care of it all and enjoy every day and every moment
Yeah I’m overly excited I screamed from down the hall mom thought i fell love you skype me soon