Doug and I have been searching for the perfect house for months now and I am happy to announce we are SO close to buying our first home!
It all began about 6 months ago when I found out I was pregnant. Doug thought our current home was plenty big enough for our growing family, but I wanted more space and I really wanted to make our son’s nursery PERFECT for him. Right now we rent a cute town home, but it doesn’t have a back yard (or any yard for that matter) and I wouldn’t be able to paint and decorate our spare room the way I had wanted to for our son’s nursery. So, the house-hunting began.
Buying Our First Home
We started out by looking at homes that were not even affordable for us. Has anyone else done this? I believe they call this “Wishful thinking.” Ha! After realizing we would never be able to afford the mortgage for a $450,000 home, we began looking at smaller, more practical homes. I really wanted something that would be “Turn Key” as our friend Caryn says. I didn’t want to have to do a ton of renovating because we were due in December. I didn’t want the hassle of fixing and remodeling a whole house when we were so close to having our baby. Getting right to business in preparing Johnathan’s nursery so everything was ready for his arrival was my mission. We went to see at least 10-15 different homes. None of them had EVERYTHING we wanted …and when you’re making such a big purchase it should have everything you want. It wasn’t until we found a foreclosure in IMPECCABLE condition that we fell in love (with the price and the home)! Cha-Ching! 😉 It was well in our budget and was a perfect home to begin our family. It does need some work, but it’s not a complete disaster. It’s manageable for us first time home buyers! We thought it’d be fun renovating, painting and making it “ours.” We put an offer in immediately. Doug and I agreed to offer $6,000 over their asking price because we wanted this home so bad. We were certain we had it in the bag.
Bad News Doesn’t Even Describe It
The next week we went through the horrific experience of losing our sweet boy, Johnathan. And I believe it was one day later when we got a call from our realtor, Debbie. The conversation was short-lived. She just said, “They didn’t accept your offer. They went with someone else.” It was already the worst week of my life, what was some more bad news? I remember thinking, “I don’t even care about that stupid house!” …so mature of me, I know. I was just so depressed and miserable about EVERYTHING. It’s almost embarrassing to admit how pitiful I was.
About a week later I got another call from Debbie. She said, “You’re not going to believe this!” That could either be good news or bad news, but I was certain by her tone of voice I was going to like what she had to say. She sounded so happy. I had sent her a few more homes we were interested in buying so I assumed this call was in regards to one of those homes. “Jamie, they are taking everyone’s ‘final offer.’ You can put another offer on the home and the highest offer gets the home.” She was right, I couldn’t believe it!
Doug and I discussed our new offer for oh about 5 minutes or so when we decided we would offer $12,000 over asking price — hopefully guaranteeing this home would be ours — that’s how much we LOVE it!
First Time Home Buyers
WAAHOOOOO!!! They accepted our offer!!! We were ecstatic. In the midst of one of the darkest times of our lives there was a little light at the end of the tunnel.
Who knows why things happen. I don’t even want to say “Everything happy for a reason.” because that saying is so over-used. I am just so happy for some good news in our life. (But even when I say that I feel like I shouldn’t be happy. It’s so strange the amount of guilt I have for losing Johnathan. I suppose that’s ‘normal.’ But that’s for another blog at another time. I want to stay in this happy place of excitement for my hubby’s and my very first home together.) Tomorrow is the house inspection. Wish us luck! 🙂
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Jamie Otis
18 comments
First off CONGRATULATIONS on the new house! Hopefully the inspection went well and you’re happily on your way to planning every little detail of the house (including the nursery)! More importantly….I’m so sorry for your loss of Johnathan. Welcome to the club that no one wants to join. There are ZERO words that will make you feel better…words don’t erase pain. Nothing really will ever erase that pain, but over time you will learn how to live with and through the pain. But I promise you…5, 10, probably 20 years from now you will still wake up each morning with that gaping hole in your heart that has his name forever etched into it. I will also skip the platitudes (ie..everything happens for a reason, he’s in a better place, God had a plan, at least you can get pregnant…or my personal favorite…I know someone who….etc. etc. etc)…those won’t bring you solace or make you feel better….sometimes they’ll actually make you feel worse, or better yet EXTREMELY angry. Been there, done that, totally get it! My best advice is to be patient with yourself. Allow yourself every moment you need to grieve. Do not apologize for your grief and don’t feel sorry or guilty for your grief. You will have good days and bad. Thrive in your good days and find peace where you can in the bad. There is no right or wrong way to handle miscarriage and all that comes with it. Also, try to be patient with Doug and your other family members. They are grieving too…in their time and in their way. When you want to talk about Johnathan, talk about him. When you want to celebrate him, celebrate him. When you want to mourn him, mourn him. Do it in your time and in your way. Those that judge you (and there will be plenty of those) aren’t worth your time or energy, so try not to give them it. For those so called friends who get tired of listening….mourn the loss of their friendship and then turn to those who will listen to you for hours and will celebrate with you and mourn with you…and who aren’t afraid to speak his name and talk about who he may be. They are the people that will likely forever hold him in the same regard you do…as your Johnathan, a living, breathing being that was taken far too soon. And finally, my last piece of advice….speak. Speak about the physical aspects of miscarriage. Speak about the emotional aspect of miscarriage. Don’t let the medical process be put into a box only to be opened when someone experiences it. SO many people walk the path of miscarriage (1 in 4 women) and the first encounter is a lonely, terrifying road. I pray for peace for you. Peace in your loss, peace in your marriage, and peace for whatever comes next! What’s next is never a guarantee and I promise your next “positive” will also become the most terrifying moment, day, weeks, months, and likely years of your life. There are no guarantees in life! Best wishes!
“Do not apologize for your grief’ .. gosh those words of advice really stand out to me because I feel like I need to all the time. …thank you SO much for such a heartfelt note. I really appreciate it! xoxo
Jamie I am so happy for you and Doug! Buying a home is a big accomplishment and a huge step for y’alls future!! You and Doug are an amazing couple! Seriously you two have come leaps and bounds in your marriage and have actually put the work in to make your marriage work!! I have been rooting for you two since day one!! I just hope one day I took can find a guy and have a great marriage like you two! You two make marriage seem worth it seriously worth even the bad stuff you have to work through!!
Thank you so
Much for sharing your journey through marriage you have seriously changed my out look on marriage!
Also I just want you to know that you are an amazing person and no matter what Johnathan will always be in your heart! He will always be your son! It’s okay to be sad and you should never be embarressed for being sad or depressed for losing your son…that’s a big event that changes you! You are amazing and you have handled yourself and your loss so well from what you have shared!! I work in mental health and one thing I have learned from working in the hospital is that showing emotion whether it is good or bad is one of the best things for your healing process! You got this Jamie! Just remember you’re amazing! And so is Doug!!! Such inspirations!!
I wish I could meet you one day!!
Thank you Keali! We are so excited for our first home together! ….we are planting a tree there for Johnathan. 🙂
Ahhhh what a saga! It’s all the ups and downs and hurdles in life isn’t it … We can all relate with you xo I’m thrilled you’ve found your dream house, it looks magnificent packing , moving and unpacking will keep you busy for months! Very best wishes to you & Doug from a huuuuge UK MAFS fan xoxo
Thank you so much! sending you love all the way to the UK!
I am so tickled. I just started watching “Married at First Sight”. On Season 2 Ep3. Just by chance I thought I would look you up on Instagram.
I am dearly sorry for the loss of your sweet baby, Jonathan.
I don’t know why God needs his little angels back so soon, but after seeing your pictures, house, Doug…… I am very happy to see that you guys are making it in your marriage. I was biting my nails there for a bit!
Marriage will always be a work of progress. I met my husband on February 2, 1994, found out I was pregnant with our daughter Hannah in July, married almost 22 years on September 24th.
Life will be that roller coaster that has the highs and the lows, jerks and quirks….. That’s what makes if fun. To look back and see everything that you have overcome, it’s a blessing.
I wish you and Doug all the best, in life, love and happiness!
I can go back to watching Season 2, knowing you’re still together! I love your infectious smile and Dougs silly way. Remember what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!
Lots of love and laughter from Lexington SC!!
Thank so much Tammy. It’s true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. We’ve gotta be SUPER strong by now. lol xoxo
I’m so happy for you and Doug! I’m sure you will be blessed with children to fill your home with love and laughter. I believe in fate everything happens for a reason. When stuff gets bad it always gets better Many more blessings❤️
thanks Robbyn! 🙂
Congrats on getting your dream home. And Jamie what you were and are feeling is normal. Now concentrate on the new home get relaxed and before you know it you will be pregnant again. Nothing but best wishes for you and Doug.
Yes, thanks Barbara!
Oh, I’m so glad this has worked out for you guys. That’s super exciting. It’s nice to have a dream fulfilled and something to look forward to as your heart continues to mourn. A few years ago when I was grieving something, I was so embarrassed by my tears and a friend told me that my response was perfectly normal because I was grieving. I actually didn’t even realize I was grieving so that was the most encouraging thing anyone could have said to me. It helped me understand why I was feeling the way I was and gave me permission to go ahead and grieve and not be embarrassed by it. Anyway, I just thought I’d share that to hopefully encourage you to know that your responses have been completely normal too. You weren’t being immature at all. Your heart was breaking. There shouldn’t be any embarrassment in grief. Just as I didn’t realize, you are much more normal than it may seem. You may already know all of this… I’m often a little slower in life than most people but I like to offer encouragement whenever possible. Best of luck to you with the inspection tomorrow. Praying it goes well.
Thank you for the love and support, Ann. I really appreciate it. 🙂
So excited for you guys! Buying a home is so exciting, fun, and stressful!! Can’t wait to see more pictures.
I hope we can show you all soon!!! XOXO
Congratulations on the house! Such a draining and exciting process the world of real estate is! We just bought our second house and it was less than smooth sailing but completely worth it now that we are here. Hope your inspection goes well and you can enjoy the fun of making it yours!
Thank you so much Katie! We are so excited! 🙂