Cancer Sucks: Erica’s Story

All of my blogs are very personal. This blog is as well, but it’s not my story. It’s the story of a young woman named Erica. Recently she found out she has colon cancer stage IV and it has spread to her lymph nodes, lungs, and liver. Anyone who knows anything about cancer knows it is hard as H E double hockey sticks —but to have it spread is … well to put it bluntly … is very bad news.

Cancer Sucks

I have never met Erica. I found out about her from a lady named Diana (I didn’t know Diana, either). Diana ordered one of my Spoonie necklaces and mentioned it was for a friend who has cancer and is suffering from the side effects of chemo and radiation. She included a link to Erica’s blog. I had just suffered from losing my sweet boy, Johnathan, and I was an emotional wreck. I felt so alone and heartbroken. I was really just wallowing in my own self-pity and asking a whole lot of “Why me?” when I clicked on Erica’s blog. I knew a bit about her past since Diana shared it with me, but I would have never known just how bad it was if I had just read Erica’s blog.

I believe the first blog post I read from Erica’s blog was “Back In The Game” where she begins by saying “…Cancer can go step in front of a Mack truck.” Other than this sentence you don’t see another word written about her struggle with cancer. She chats about her career as a vocal coach, how she recently had this amazing opportunity to sing with her friend, and she ends with “I’m grateful for the road I’ve had to take to get to this point.” (Sorry, I should have written ‘Spoiler Alert’ before I just gave the entire outline of that whole blog post!)

The short of the story is that this woman is suffering from cancer. Day in and day out. She has heard the worst news a cancer patient could ever hear …”It has spread.”… and yet she is smiling, cheerful, grateful, and optimistic.

HUH???

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Here I am whining and complaining and this woman is going through just as rough of a time—though different than mine—and all I can see is her choosing happiness and optimism. I immediately felt inspired by this woman I’ve never met.

I began emailing Erica directly. I’ve gotten to know more about this sweet, humble soul. (Her husband recently graduated from the police academy!! WOOT, WOOT!) I asked Erica if she would like to “guest blog” on my site. I’ve never done this before, but her story touched me so much I wanted to be able to share it with all of you who read my blogs and get a bit of inspiration from them. Before I hand the mic over to Erica, I want to let you all know that there is a benefit for Erica August 27th in Georgia. I wish I could go support, but I live hours away. However, I won’t let that stop me from helping this amazing woman. This weekend I am donating 20% of all of my profits from Jamie Otis Jewelry. And I am asking each of you who read this to PRAY for this beautiful young woman. Now, without further ado, here is Erica:

Thank you, Jamie, for allowing me the pleasure of being a guest on your blog. I’m your average 34-year-old woman: married, living in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia.  My husband, Matt and I met four years ago and recently had our 3 year anniversary which is the day after Independence Day. I’m grateful for Matt. He fell in love with me at first sight but I didn’t really know he even existed!  It took some effort, but he finally caught my attention, and I am a proud to be his wife!

I’ve had the honor to work as a vocal coach at Jan Smith Studios for the past three and a half years.  It’s been a dream job to coach alongside Jan and our impressively talented staff. My husband and I were working out together 4-5 days of the week. I was enjoying watching my sister go through pregnancy and delighted in the arrival of my beautiful niece, Lillian. Life seemed to be flowing so smoothly until May 2015. My husband, mom, and I went to a local restaurant where both my mom and I got food poisoning.  My husband, an 8-year and 4 tour veteran of the Marine Corps did not get sick, but it’s generally agreed upon that he has a cast-iron stomach.

 Over the course of five months my health continued to slide down an increasingly steep slope.  Food sensitivities flared to the point where I was subsisting on homemade chicken soup, grapefruit, and hard salami.  My stomach would grumble loudly, painfully, and resulted in the worse vomiting I’d ever experienced.  My husband endured many a sleepless night rubbing my back and trying to help me in any way he could. By the beginning of October, I was down to a mere 103 lbs from a robust 129 lbs.  I just kept hoping it would go away. I visited doctors and nutritionists who took many tests to rule out different possibilities. Unfortunately, they were not able to find any answers and the pain became so intense that I ended up in the ER at Northside Hospital.  Two days later a colonoscopy revealed the culprit: Stage III colorectal cancer. The good news was that I would be having a partial colectomy to remove the cancer and hopefully be back to normal life. However, a PET/CT scan revealed that my cancer was Stage IV after the discovery of some nodules on my lungs and lesions on my liver.  Even my surgeon was shocked.  A 34 year-old with advanced stage colorectal cancer?  How did that happen?  My mom was and still is going through treatment for her third round of breast cancer.  If anything, we thought I would be most susceptible to that!
Thus began a whole new normal.  I had a successful but tenuous eight week recovery and began chemotherapy treatments three days before Christmas 2015.  I steadily gained weight back, which the doctors took as a good sign but to me, it’s been depressing.  All my hard work to get in shape went down the tubes.  I love what I do at my job so much, so it’s borderline tortuous to only work alternating weeks since chemotherapy consumes my time and energy Tuesday through Friday every other week.  It places a significant financial burden on us. Mentally, I feel like I’m restricted from being able to enjoy everyday life and often feel guilty for purchasing items that I genuinely need, like comfortably clothes that I can wear to work and different hobby items such as sewing materials, photography and music related equipment.

         It would be easy to shut off and shut down after all of this.  But God in His providence and mercy saw fit to provide life-giving alternatives made available through my husband, my work group, my church family, my immediate family, and my relatives.  I have listed some ways I’ve been able to cope with everything I have gone through in hopes that it will encourage you to keep pressing on in the midst of your difficult life circumstances:

1.  Writing
Writing has always been a catharsis for me.  I feel that I express myself more eloquently when I have the added task of putting it in black and white.  There was such (and still is) an outpouring of love and support from people all across our nation (and globe for that matter) that I started a blog site to provide updates on my appointments and treatments.  I wanted it to be about medical updates but I also include anecdotal pieces that are supposed to be both humorous and vulnerable. I try to achieve an irreverently dry sense of humor. Seriously, if I had any chances to become a comedian, I’d do that. It brings me joy to make others laugh.

2.  Hobbies
I released my full-length original album in 2009.  I still have a ton of CDs sitting in a box in my garage but I’d gotten lost in the current of several life transitions and stopped writing songs.  A couple of Christmases ago my family gave me a red ukulele (which I had asked for).  After being out of the performing world for a while, it was time to get back in! I was able to debut a song I wrote for my husband (called “Red Ukulele”) early July.   Writing music allows me to escape my present surroundings and dream about life in a different way. Matt told me that he fell in love with me the minute he saw me singing in a church service, so obviously it’s to his benefit, I suppose, that I get back in the business of performing, right??  He also just finished building me a custom craft table though not before I delved into learning how to crochet, making onesies for my baby niece, learning how to sew and just having fun with the crafts my neuropathic fingers can manage.

3. Work
Getting back to a semi-regular work schedule helped improve my mood and distracted me from many of the negatives of my situation.  I love the staff I work with.  My vocal coaching is not the end-all. I am able to mentor my students and help them to accomplish to their fullest potential which is so rewarding! Back in the day (2005), I was a student at the studio where I now work and I have maintained a long-term relationship with my former coach and now Jan Smith. Also, with days where I have time and energy, I investigate alternative ways to bring in income on sites such as UpWork and by participating in market research studies.  Having something to DO helps so much to distract my mind.  I have a fantasy about starting an Etsy business but I’m so distracted by my creative options I end up with a lot of half-projects!  Maybe I should just stick to music.

4.  Relationships
I’m reminded of a quote by author Sheldon Vanauken.  He says:

“It is, I think, that we are all so alone in what lies deepest in our souls, so unable to find the words, and perhaps the courage to speak with unlocked hearts, that we don’t know at all that it is the same with others.”

Before all of this happened I thought of myself as a bon-a-fide vulnerable woman.  And yet, I think perhaps my ego had more to do with that.  My relationship with my husband is stronger now because of these trials.  Our hearts are more knitted together and the fabric of our relationship woven tighter.  I’ve been able to invest into friendships that I wouldn’t have known existed and rekindle old friendships that were still stable, just more removed from everyday life.  My co-workers and I have become closer and my boss, Jan, is using her birthday celebration later this month as an opportunity to raise funds to help Matt and me. Her willingness to help in my time of trouble is overwhelming to me. She is so much more than a boss. She is a close friend and mentor. I’ve grown closer to some of my relatives as well as my awesome parents. My sister and I have many FaceTime chats and rush-hour traffic conversations. Staying connected with my niece also delights my heart. I love her so much and miss her sweet cherub cheeks!

Last but not least:

5: God/Church
I don’t know where I’d be without my faith in Jesus.  I feel that I’ve been able to maintain a good attitude through most of this earthly inconvenience because of my dependency on Him. I also don’t know where I’d be without my church family.  They’re a devoted, self-sacrificing, servant-hearted group who has loved on Matt and me since Day 1.  From this family I’ve received cards, gifts, several lunch dates, and rides to chemotherapy appointments.  It’s one thing to cook meals for a family in need for a few weeks or even a few months.  But my church family took it to a whole different level.  They’ve been hand-delivering meals to my door every chemo week since around my first chemo treatments and they are booked out through September!  They do it tirelessly and with joy.  I’m humbled and grateful for what they’ve given me from spiritual advice, encouragement, prayers, food, gifts, and a listening ear.   I say this not to be “preachy” but to encourage you to be open and receptive to the people that want to help.  Be honest about what you need.  My hope is that I will be able to live a long life giving back to others in the way I have received it.

Thank you, Erica. You’re truly an inspiration. If anyone feels inspired to donate to Erica, you can just click here or feel free to grab yourself anything from JamieOtis.com and I’ll donate 20% this weekend on your behalf! Again, please pray for her. Cancer sucks, but each one of us can help. Even if it’s just a little. 🙂

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