Married At First Sight: The First Year Season 2 Episode 1

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Married At First Sight: The First Year Doug and Jamie
Married At First Sight: The First Year
Doug and Jamie

Married At First Sight: The First Year

Season 2 Episode 1

I’m not going to lie, I was scared to watch the first episode of Married At First Sight: The First Year season 2. If you read my previous blog you’d know that Doug and I have been having a rough marriage these last few months. It’s one of those things that you hope gets better with time – but it seems the more time goes on the worse it is getting.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you know you love your partner, but you lost that “in-love” feeling. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for us. And I think the most difficult part was that we never dated prior to being married so it’s not like we have this long courtship to look back on and know that we will get out of the dumps. This is the lowest our relationship has ever been. It’s scary.

The first episode of Married At First Sight: The First Year began with Doug randomly playing our wedding song. I hadn’t heard it in months! He came right into the kitchen, reached behind me as I was doing the dishes and began dancing with me. It was so sweet and romantic.

Let’s play a game. Close your eyes and imagine you are going to get married to a stranger. Now try to think of the perfect song to play for your first dance together. Yeah, I couldn’t think of one either. The song can’t be all lovey dovey because you don’t even know each other – it’d be awkward to dance to such a song. I didn’t want a single moment of our wedding to feel awkward. (Boy, did I miss the mark on that!) I had two weeks to prep for our wedding and finding the perfect song to claim as “ours” was the most difficult. I thought of traditional songs like Shania Twain’s ‘You’re Still the One’ and modern songs like John Legend’s ‘All of me,’ but clearly they wouldn’t work.

There isn’t one romantic song that isn’t about being so in love and/or defeating the odds. Err, that’s not true. I did find one song. Anastasia’s theme song “At The Beginning.” I don’t know what would scare this stranger hubby off more: me proclaiming all of me loves all of him or us dancing to my nieces favorite Disney movie’s theme song. Nope, this isn’t going to work. So I asked my friends who are musicians to help me write a song that would be appropriate for my Married At First Sight wedding. We had a lot of phone calls and meetings. This would be the first “gift” that I would give this scientifically matched hubs. He could be the man I dreamt of my whole life. I wanted it to be PERFECT. And it really was. (I applaud my friend Lonnie Park. I told him how I was feeling, what I envisioned, and what I hoped for in this relationship. He crafted the lyrics and all of the music – in less than two weeks. No wonder he was nominated for a Grammy!) I never intended this song to be anything more than my simple wedding song, but turns out a lot of people really liked it. Couples have been requesting to use it for their wedding! And Lonnie liked it so much he added it to his new album. I feel blessed and honored to be able to share the love of this song. If you want to have a listen just click this link: My Wedding Song: Beautiful Experience

Side note: Doug and I have this thing where we celebrate each month anniversary. It began as just a ‘Wow, we made it another month! Let’s celebrate!’ and has turned into a meaningful way to celebrate each other and our marriage every month. Honestly, I think everyone should do this. It works magic in our relationship! On our 10th month anniversary I made Doug this video of us to our wedding song. You have to watch it, it’s so adorable! Here’s the link: Doug and Jamie Wedding Song homemade video 

Back to the episode. Another favorite moment is – ehem – my birthday! Doug and I really love surprising each other with gifts. Doesn’t matter how big or small, we just love surprises! I woke up to little notes scattered around the house leading me to my birthday gift – new bikes! I had been dying to get out of the house and do more activities together. We rode around town and stopped for a birthday picnic complete with candles in my cupcake! The cherry on top was Doug picking out a bike with a basket so our fur-baby, Lady, could join us on rides. He’s so thoughtful.

Screen shot from my instagram - my birthday bike!
Screen shot from my instagram – my birthday bike!

The one amazing thing about letting a film crew follow you around and tape your real life is that you get to relive these amazing moments. The not-so-good part is that you also have to re-live the harder, more difficult moments. Doug and I went into this season requesting help from the experts. We want a genuinely loving marriage – not a made-on-tv relationship. Clearly I want a baby, but I don’t want to begin our family in a loveless, struggling marriage. To be frank, I flat out refuse to stay in a loveless marriage. Doug does too. That’s one thing we do agree on. We don’t think anyone should stay married just to stay married. You only get one life. Make sure it’s a happy, love-filled one.

Although we don’t support staying married just because you’re married, we definitely don’t think you should just throw in the towel when it starts to get rocky. You’ve gotta give it everything you’ve got. In my opinion, the only time it is ok to call it quits is after you’ve tried every possible way to nurture your marriage back to life. We knew we really needed help and the only way to truly get help was to be completely honest about the struggles we’re having – both on and off camera.

So, it is what it is. You will see us struggle. You’ll see us exactly as we are – trying to be the best we can for each other, but not perfect. This is really tough to have to watch and re-live. But, I have no regrets.

We want to thank you guys. (We like to call you guys who watch, support, and root for us our #MAFSFamily.) Truly, it’s so nice to know that you’ve got our backs even when we’re hurting.

See you guys tonight on a new episode of Married At First Sight: The First Year! We will be tweeting live and live on periscope as well!

Love you!!!

Jamie

12 comments
  1. Jamie, I’ve had tv problems and haven’t even been able to watch yet, but reading your blog hurts my heart. I just want to tell you, I’ve been married 22 years and this is not the last time you will go through a tough time, they come and go throughout the years. The key is to keep your eye on the future and ask yourself if Doug is the husband you need. That’s not to suggest that he’s perfect all the time or gives you everything you want because that’s not going to happen with anyone. You both still have a lot to learn about each other and yourselves. Trust me when I say I know that burn for a baby, but please don’t rush it. You have plenty of time, I promise. And when you’re struggling, a baby complicates things because your undeniable tendency will be to put everything you have into that baby and your marriage will suffer more. The second key I want to offer is to always maintain respect for each other. Even when you feel like you can’t stand to be near each other, if you can focus on his character and remember the tough times he has brought you through and been the love and support you needed, you’ll be amazed at how far that will carry you. And last, I don’t know where you stand with spirituality, but my advice is to never stop praying for your marriage. My marriage was so low at one time that my prayer began to be telling God that I didn’t even want the marriage to work anymore. If it was going to work, He (God) had to do it, and He was faithful and brought us through. Hang in there girl. I believe wholeheartedly that you both are great people and you can make this work. Just don’t give up and know ahead of time that you WILL go through this off and on throughout your marriage. One thing my husband and I vowed early on was to never use the D word when we argue and not even joking. It’s much too devastating. Many blessings to you both.

  2. Dear Jamie,

    I think that Doug is more than a little right to put the brakes on a baby and a home because both are huge commitments and can try even the strongest of marriages. You two have only been together a short while in reality and if you did not have rings on and a piece of paper that told you you were married, you wouldn’t even consider thinking of broaching those subjects in a barely 2 year relationship. Many couples don’t make that leap until well into their relationship so that they can have stable finances, a stronger marriage and until they have lived a little. I think Doug is absolutely right about living some life together before moving on to having kids and a home. Make your own memories together. Everything in your relationship has been fast tracked. Kids should not be one of them. And neither should a home. And once you have kids, I guarantee you’ll come up with a bucket list of things you’d like to do. Only it’ll include things like brushing your teeth and taking a shower because those things will be luxuries at that point. As for Doug’s so called childishness, I think he’s just trying to avoid saying anything to you that might scare you away given it doesn’t take much to send you running to your ex or shutting down on him. I’m sure he’s told you countless times that he’s not ready for children and I’m sure he’s done it in nice ways but I don’t think you respect how he feels which is why you keep coming at him with it which is entirely unfair given how patient he was with you. Kids aren’t just cute faces and baby clothes and I’m sure you must know that. It’s a lot and I respect him for realizing the gravity of that and not jumping into something he’s not ready for. You should respect him too for not signing up for something like that only to leave you hanging because he’s not ready. I think he probably ran out of nice ways to tell you he’s not ready and because you keep badgering him about it, he’s resorted to jokes because he’s probably uncomfortable but unsure how to make you stop and how to keep the relationship. You seem to want what you want and are unwilling to make concessions and compromises which is what a relationship and a marriage requires to sustain itself. I think your anger comes in at not getting your way. I mean, if you were dating someone for a year, would you really be talking to them about a baby and a house? If so, I’m certain you’ll scare off every man on the planet. It’s much too fast. And the way you talk to him, it’s probably the way you spoke to your siblings. Only he’s not a child. He’s a grown man with money troubles and I’m sure it’s embarrassing and emasculating to talk about that ON CAMERA or to hear about this flaw incessantly. Remember, you may be pretty on the outside but I think much of America has seen your warts (no offense). Money issues can be handled but a mean streak like the one you’re exhibiting, I’m not so sure.

  3. Hi, I have watched the series since it started and have been following you and Doug. And my opinion after 25 years of marriage is, you were ready to get married and have children right away. Doug was ready to get married and move out of his parents house. As per your blog, you had no dating period to discuss this. But the real question is, does Doug want children?
    I am concerned for you. You would make a great mother and both of you need to do what’s right for each other. Doug needs to grow up now and consider your feelings. Yes, you can love someone with all your heart, but when they do not really consider your feelings for your future, than move on Jamie. Sorry. I hope you have your answer from Doug and can continue to grow and be happy. I am rooting for you.

  4. Thanks so much for sharing your lives with us. This experiment is (I think) the best use for the ‘reality tv’ genre. Education through observation – not simply voyeurism and living vicariously through self-centered famous people, like so many others..
    You and Doug appear to be perfectly suited – each filling the other’s empty spaces, balancing and complimenting each other. Your honest approach with him is absolutely the way to go – remember that you are establishing a foundation for marriage, and the hardest part of that is trust. Trust based on honesty. You and Doug have made it this far, I hope and pray that you can work things out. It’s the difficult things that make us strong, and I think it’s the investment that determines the value, especially in relationships. If I may offer some unsolicited advice, I’d like to recommend a book – one that changes everything we think about ‘love’ and has made a difference in millions of lives… “The Road Less Traveled” by M Scott Peck. It thoroughly examines the ‘myth’ of romantic love, and tries to determine the true meaning of genuine, lasting love. It’s a great book to read together 🙂
    Try to remember that nothing worth having comes without effort. Work together as a team and it will happen!

  5. Sad for me to watch this last episode and see all of the disharmony. The biggest red flag I’m seeing in your marriage is the fact that Doug seems to be a 32-year-old LITTLE BOY! Has he not established credit yet? And if his credit is bad, he needs, like, right now, to begin to rebuild it. I mean, you’re right: a 32-year-old MAN should not be giving money to Mommy and Daddy to make his car payment. Sheesh! He also seems to be terrified of Big Boy Pants responsibility… which includes buying a house and having a baby. If he can’t commit to the first one, he will, for sure, certainly not be able to commit to the second. Hang in there; the secret to staying married is to not leave. But if he keeps postponing a house and a baby, it may be time to say… enough is enough. 🙂

  6. Jamie
    hello… Have you watched the episode? I have to admit, you have come a long way from where you came from but WOW… This is just an observation and I realize tension is high…But the look on your face when confronting Doug (im refering to the scene where u come in and he has made a sandwich) the look on your face is 100% pure hate…. Not trying to attack you and im sure he’s not prince charming 100% of the time either… But In my opinion your snotty, rude and outright waaaaay over the top with your nasty attitude. I mean you did a great thing raising siblings and putting yourself thru school, but you treat it like you are the best thing since sliced bread. Get over yourself, relax, and quit riding him or you WILL be alone. I encourage you to actually watch yourself and I hope you can stop the nasty bitchy behavior. Your LUCKY to have him and his family. I actually cant imagine you as a mom. You refer so often to the HUGE SELFLESS gesture you gave by raising your siblings, Doug is not your child to raise, and quite frankly your looking to raise him. your not perfect even if you have yourself convinced otherwise. Get real. I suggest a class on compassion, empathy and general courtesy, before parenting.. Step back and take a look at YOU. You have managed to squeak by thus far… I promise that nasty person that is right under your surface will ultimately have you on Judge Judy before long.

  7. Beautiful, inspiring, truthful words. Also, really like the idea of blogging before the episode, it gives us viewers an opportunity to get another side of what we see. I’m excited to view this season. Best wishes Jamie & Doug.

  8. Jamie and Doug,

    I have been married for 15 years now and I can say that marriage is a work of art….because its a work of love, understanding, companionship, happy moments and sad ones, good memories, rocky paths. perfections and imperfections. When you have happy memories with each other, embrace them and keep them close to your heart. When you have a tuff time, be there for each other and try to understand each other. I think you guys are both good and honest people and I really see that you and Doug love each other, so, remember that being married takes a lot, but a lot of cumplicity between you both, a lot of love and a lot of patience with each other. We build a marriage little by little and you guys are going to get there….I wish you both the best and I love you guys. Just having the courage of marrying someone you never meet before it’s a big, big step and very courageous of both of you.

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