Married At First Sight: The First Year
Season 2 Episode 1
I’m not going to lie, I was scared to watch the first episode of Married At First Sight: The First Year season 2. If you read my previous blog you’d know that Doug and I have been having a rough marriage these last few months. It’s one of those things that you hope gets better with time – but it seems the more time goes on the worse it is getting.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you know you love your partner, but you lost that “in-love” feeling. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for us. And I think the most difficult part was that we never dated prior to being married so it’s not like we have this long courtship to look back on and know that we will get out of the dumps. This is the lowest our relationship has ever been. It’s scary.
The first episode of Married At First Sight: The First Year began with Doug randomly playing our wedding song. I hadn’t heard it in months! He came right into the kitchen, reached behind me as I was doing the dishes and began dancing with me. It was so sweet and romantic.
Let’s play a game. Close your eyes and imagine you are going to get married to a stranger. Now try to think of the perfect song to play for your first dance together. Yeah, I couldn’t think of one either. The song can’t be all lovey dovey because you don’t even know each other – it’d be awkward to dance to such a song. I didn’t want a single moment of our wedding to feel awkward. (Boy, did I miss the mark on that!) I had two weeks to prep for our wedding and finding the perfect song to claim as “ours” was the most difficult. I thought of traditional songs like Shania Twain’s ‘You’re Still the One’ and modern songs like John Legend’s ‘All of me,’ but clearly they wouldn’t work.
There isn’t one romantic song that isn’t about being so in love and/or defeating the odds. Err, that’s not true. I did find one song. Anastasia’s theme song “At The Beginning.” I don’t know what would scare this stranger hubby off more: me proclaiming all of me loves all of him or us dancing to my nieces favorite Disney movie’s theme song. Nope, this isn’t going to work. So I asked my friends who are musicians to help me write a song that would be appropriate for my Married At First Sight wedding. We had a lot of phone calls and meetings. This would be the first “gift” that I would give this scientifically matched hubs. He could be the man I dreamt of my whole life. I wanted it to be PERFECT. And it really was. (I applaud my friend Lonnie Park. I told him how I was feeling, what I envisioned, and what I hoped for in this relationship. He crafted the lyrics and all of the music – in less than two weeks. No wonder he was nominated for a Grammy!) I never intended this song to be anything more than my simple wedding song, but turns out a lot of people really liked it. Couples have been requesting to use it for their wedding! And Lonnie liked it so much he added it to his new album. I feel blessed and honored to be able to share the love of this song. If you want to have a listen just click this link: My Wedding Song: Beautiful Experience
Side note: Doug and I have this thing where we celebrate each month anniversary. It began as just a ‘Wow, we made it another month! Let’s celebrate!’ and has turned into a meaningful way to celebrate each other and our marriage every month. Honestly, I think everyone should do this. It works magic in our relationship! On our 10th month anniversary I made Doug this video of us to our wedding song. You have to watch it, it’s so adorable! Here’s the link: Doug and Jamie Wedding Song homemade video
Back to the episode. Another favorite moment is – ehem – my birthday! Doug and I really love surprising each other with gifts. Doesn’t matter how big or small, we just love surprises! I woke up to little notes scattered around the house leading me to my birthday gift – new bikes! I had been dying to get out of the house and do more activities together. We rode around town and stopped for a birthday picnic complete with candles in my cupcake! The cherry on top was Doug picking out a bike with a basket so our fur-baby, Lady, could join us on rides. He’s so thoughtful.
The one amazing thing about letting a film crew follow you around and tape your real life is that you get to relive these amazing moments. The not-so-good part is that you also have to re-live the harder, more difficult moments. Doug and I went into this season requesting help from the experts. We want a genuinely loving marriage – not a made-on-tv relationship. Clearly I want a baby, but I don’t want to begin our family in a loveless, struggling marriage. To be frank, I flat out refuse to stay in a loveless marriage. Doug does too. That’s one thing we do agree on. We don’t think anyone should stay married just to stay married. You only get one life. Make sure it’s a happy, love-filled one.
Although we don’t support staying married just because you’re married, we definitely don’t think you should just throw in the towel when it starts to get rocky. You’ve gotta give it everything you’ve got. In my opinion, the only time it is ok to call it quits is after you’ve tried every possible way to nurture your marriage back to life. We knew we really needed help and the only way to truly get help was to be completely honest about the struggles we’re having – both on and off camera.
So, it is what it is. You will see us struggle. You’ll see us exactly as we are – trying to be the best we can for each other, but not perfect. This is really tough to have to watch and re-live. But, I have no regrets.
We want to thank you guys. (We like to call you guys who watch, support, and root for us our #MAFSFamily.) Truly, it’s so nice to know that you’ve got our backs even when we’re hurting.
See you guys tonight on a new episode of Married At First Sight: The First Year! We will be tweeting live and live on periscope as well!